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Category Archives: American Jokes
Was Jesus Jewish,Irish, Purerto Rican, Italian, Californian, or Black?
PROOF THAT JESUS WAS Jewish: 1. He went into his father’s business. 2. He lived at home until the age of 33. 3. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was sure he was God. PROOF … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, British Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Country Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged brother, California, God, Irish, Italian, Jesus, Jewish, marriage, mother
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Email error
It’s wise to remember how easily email can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences. Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Computer Jokes, Family Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes
Tagged check in, email, error, Florida, holiday, husband, wife
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Driver answers
The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can’t see my license … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Car Jokes, Office Jokes, Police Jokes, Short Q & A
Tagged California, car, driving, exam, safety, weapon
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Milk bath, just to my tits
A blonde heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Blonde Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged bath, blonde, breast, milk, milkman
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Romantic pink slip
Dear __________________________, I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, British Jokes, France and French Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List
Tagged breast, condom, date, man, sex, top 10 list, woman
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Only in America
1. Only in America……can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America……are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Politician Jokes, Top 10 List
Tagged ambulence, America, burger, car, cigarette, drug, parking, pizza, top 10 list
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Work for IRS
In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the shoulders of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, “Just what the hell are you doing?” … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Politician Jokes
Tagged bank, IRS, massage, screw, sex
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A military cargo plane
A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the soldiers in … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Kids Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged airplane, cargo, child, military, missile, pistol, weapon
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Top 10 reasons for being an American
1. You can have a woman president without electing her 2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it. 3. You can call Budweiser beer 4. You can be a crook and still be a president 5. If … Continue reading
Posted in Alaska Jokes, American Jokes, Politician Jokes, Top 10 List
Tagged America, beer, buddy, gun, president, top 10 list, USA, woman
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Hot dog
Two immigrants arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between the Old Country and the U.S. One of them says that he’s heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they’re going to fit in, … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Animal Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, Restaurant Jokes
Tagged dog, hot dog, restaurant, USA
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The FBI, CIA, LAPD, and some rabbits
The LAPD, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Animal Jokes, Police Jokes, Politician Jokes
Tagged bear, CIA, FBI, forest, investigation, LAPD, rabbit
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Parachute
Four people are in an airplane: the president, the smartest man in the world, an old man and a young girl. The plane catches on fire and there are only three parachutes. The president gets one and says, “My country … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, People Jokes, Politician Jokes
Tagged accident, airplane, girl, parachute, politician, president
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How to mess with the IRS?
(Internal Revenue Service, an agency of the government to whom Americans pay taxes on their salary.) –Always put staples in the right hand corner.Go ahead and put a down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Country Jokes, People Jokes, Politician Jokes, Top 10 List
Tagged check, government, IRS, letter, money, signature, staple, tax
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Where are you going to find a lawyer in the heaven?
There was a construction worker who was working on a building when he fell 15 stories to his bloody death. He arrived at the pearly gates and St. Peter said ”Oh, I am sorry, my son. But you have been … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Lawyer Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged court, God, heaven, hell, lawyer, Satan, St. Peter, worker
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Blondes in the mirror
Two blondes are walking down the street when one of them looks down and finds a mirror. She picks it up, looks at it. ”WOW! I know this person. I’ve seen this person before.” The other blonde takes the mirror … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Blonde Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged blonde, mirror, street
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Bill Gates in hell
Upon dying, Bill Gates went to purgatory. St. Peter said to his, “Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go”. … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Computer Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged beach, Bill Gates, computer, demo, heaven, hell, screen saver, St. Peter, woman
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Ten dollars is ten dollars
Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, ”Martha, I’d like to ride in that there airplane.” And every year Martha would say, ”I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Family Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes
Tagged airplane, fair, husband, money, pilot, wife
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Swimming blonde
Two dumb blondes were driving through the middle of Kansas where there was nothing around for miles but wheat fields. One blonde says, “Look over there!” There was another blonde wearing scuba gear and acting like she was swimming through … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Blonde Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes
Tagged blode, boat, car, drive, swim, wheat
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Thanksgiving in the UK
A few years ago, an American and a British journalist were discussing Thanksgiving on a British radio program. The American asked if Thanksgiving was celebrated in the UK. “Yes,” the British journalist replied, “but we celebrate it on the 6th … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, British Jokes, Thanksgiving Jokes
Tagged British, chap, radio, thaksgiving, USA
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Today you are staff
A hardworking female executive dies and meets St. Peter at the pearly gates and he says, “You’ve shown an outstanding aptitude for making business decisions. Choose whether you will go to heaven or to hell.” “I don’t know!” she flounders. … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged boss, business, employee, heaven, hell, man, Santa, St. Peter, staff, woman
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