Category Archives: People Jokes

Jokes on all kinds of people, police, fireman, official, bankers….

Stand in line for that too

funny-dogs-queue-for-peeing-on-a-tree

During a busy Pre-Christmas day at Sydney airport, a crowded flight was cancelled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on … Continue reading

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Rate your Chrsitmas party

free-blow-job-if-you-buy-coke-here

Next time, make sure your party reaches the correct “Festivity Level….” Festivity Level One: Your guests are chatting amiably with each other, admiring your Christmas tree ornaments, singing carols around the upright piano, sipping at their drinks and nibbling on … Continue reading

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No nuts is an advantage

mans-problem-in-emergency

A retired US Marine was looking for a new job. He finally found one that appealed to his interests. At the interview, he was asked, “Do you have any military experience?” The Marine replied, “Why, yes! I’ve been in the … Continue reading

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The engineer at the golf course

Maradona-dick-size

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, “What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!” “Ineptitude!” The pastor said, “Hey, here comes … Continue reading

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Mrs. Jones, do you know me?

funny-revenge-pee-to-your-neighbours-car

A small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial — a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. … Continue reading

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Great-uncle George

Dmitry-Medvedev-got-faked-jacket

The Smith’s were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower. They had included Senators and Wall Street wizards. They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren. They … Continue reading

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An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman

kim-jong-un-holding-durex

An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps … Continue reading

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Murphy’s laws of combat

dog-reading-book-how-to-pick-up-bitches

If the enemy is in range, so are you Incoming fire has the right of way Don’t look conspicuous; it draws fire There is always a way That way is always mined Try to look unimportant; they might be low … Continue reading

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The blue eye

funny-Japanese-bra-sun-glasses

One day, a man had an accident at work, which resulted in him getting his eye gouged out. He was rushed to hospital, and, after awaking from an emergency operation, was told by the doctor that he’d been given a … Continue reading

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Not a flight instructor?

bikini-girl-on-beach

A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire. The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an … Continue reading

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A day of a deer hunter

funny-kangaroo

Saturday 1:00 A.M. Alarm clock rings. 2:00 A.M. Hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed. 2:30 A.M. Throw everything but kitchen sink in camper. 3:00 A.M. Leave for deep woods. 3:15 A.M. Drive back home and pick up gun. … Continue reading

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Last requests for blonde, brunette and redhead

bikini-girls-club

Three women are about to be executed. One’s a brunette, one’s a redhead and one’s a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, … Continue reading

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Salesman

buttocks-shot

The manager of a megastore came to check on his new salesman. “How many customers did you serve today?” the manager asked. “One,” replied the new guy. “Only one?” said the boss, “how much was the sale?” The salesman answered, … Continue reading

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Grass eater

dog-peeing-on-woman

One afternoon, a man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. ”Why are you eating grass?” … Continue reading

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Age guessing

real-porn-star

One day at the rest home, an old man and woman are talking. Out of nowhere the woman says, “I can guess your age.” The man doesn’t believe her, but tells her to go ahead and try. “Pull down your … Continue reading

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Sanitary Blonde

hungry-girl-eating-chocolate-sexy

A blonde was driving across several states to go visit her family. She was five hours late and her family was getting worried. When she finally got there she explained that she had seen 10 signs that said “CLEAN RESTROOMS … Continue reading

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Revenge

you-take-the-woman-I-take-her-drink

There were two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school and were both virgins and enjoyed losing their virginity with each other in 10th grade. When they graduated, they wanted to both go to … Continue reading

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Surgeon’s favourite

funny-old-gentleman-and-boobs

Four surgeons were sitting around discussing who they like to operate on. The first surgeon said, “I like operating on librarians.  When you open them up everything is in alphabetical order”. The second surgeon said, “I like operating on accountants.  … Continue reading

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Discrimination

boys-like-balls

It was recess and the pre-schoolers came in. The teacher asked Susie what she did today. ”Well, I played in the sandbox,” she said. The teacher said, ”If you can spell sand, I’ll give you a fresh-baked cookie.” So Susie … Continue reading

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Sons

curious-man-studying-girls-buttocks

Four guys are drinking in a bar, bragging about their sons. “My son,” the first one says, “started out washing cars at dealership, but now owns the dealership and just gave one of his friends four new cars of his … Continue reading

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