Category Archives: Country Jokes

Jokes for some countries

Only in America

american-flag-model-bikini

1. Only in America……can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America……are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way … Continue reading

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Work for IRS

no-parking-volcano

In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the shoulders of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, “Just what the hell are you doing?” … Continue reading

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Letter to God

funny-shit-slogan-i-dont-need-sex

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to send … Continue reading

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A military cargo plane

funny-boy-reading-playboy

A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the soldiers in … Continue reading

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Pull over in highway

funny-woman-parking-2

One day a lady was driving on the highway. She frequently checked her speed gauge to make sure she stayed within the speed limit. However, when she looked into her rear mirror, much to her dismay, she saw a police … Continue reading

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Top 10 reasons for being an American

funny-pose-obama-enjoying-blow-job

1. You can have a woman president without electing her 2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it. 3. You can call Budweiser beer 4. You can be a crook and still be a president 5. If … Continue reading

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Bad dog

why-lie-i-need-a-cold-beer

This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he … Continue reading

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Ned: the most popular man in the world

bikini-girls-club

Bill and Ned walk into a fast food joint one afternoon to get lunch. Bill orders and the cashier gives him his meal. Ned goes up to order and the cashier greets him with “Hello Ned! How are you? Hey … Continue reading

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How to keep your husband at home?

shooting-girl

Wife #1: Hey, Lynn, tell me this. How did you get your husband from staying out late? Wife #2: Well, everytime he would come home I would simply say, ‘Mike, is that you?’ Wife #1: But I still don’t understand. … Continue reading

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Hot dog

funny-cat-riding-dog

Two immigrants arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between the Old Country and the U.S. One of them says that he’s heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they’re going to fit in, … Continue reading

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Real job application

man

This is an actual job application someone submitted to McDonald’s. They hired him. NAME – Greg Bulmash DESIRED POSITION – Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying … Continue reading

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The FBI, CIA, LAPD, and some rabbits

dog-photo-and-cat-bomb

The LAPD, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has … Continue reading

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I was delivering this bridge

funny-blind-driving

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads “low bridge ahead.” He tries to turn off but, before he knows it, the bridge is right there and he gets stuck under it. Cars … Continue reading

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Blondes with a convertible

car-crash-photo

Two blondes are shopping at the mall. When they are done they go out to their car, which happens to be an awesome leather interior convertible. When they get to the car, they realize they had locked the keys in … Continue reading

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Parachute

funny-old-gentleman-and-boobs

Four people are in an airplane: the president, the smartest man in the world, an old man and a young girl. The plane catches on fire and there are only three parachutes. The president gets one and says, “My country … Continue reading

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Texas Talkin’

funny-banana-corn

Here’s what the heck they mean in the Lone Star State… The engine’s runnin’ but ain’t nobody driving = Not too smart As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party = An unwelcome person Tighter than bark on a … Continue reading

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How to mess with the IRS?

secret-operation

(Internal Revenue Service, an agency of the government to whom Americans pay taxes on their salary.) –Always put staples in the right hand corner.Go ahead and put a down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from … Continue reading

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Sleepy trucker

ass-symbols

After driving for about six hours, a trucker decides to pull over and sleep for a little while. As soon as he falls asleep, he is awoken by some knocks on the door of the cab. “Can you tell me … Continue reading

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Blonde’s sheep

funny-photobomb-beauty-and-buttocks

Once there was a blonde driving home from work when she saw a sheep farm. She stops and asks the farmer if she can have a sheep. The farmer says “If you can count all my sheep I’ll let you … Continue reading

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Tennis balls

tennisball-field-staring-at-boobs

One day while jogging, a man noticed two tennis balls lying by the side of the road. He picked the balls up, put them in his pocket and proceeded on his way. Waiting at the cross street for the light … Continue reading

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