Author Archives: JokesLab

Blonde and police car

car-crash-photo

A blonde and a brunette are out driving, and the brunette tells the blonde to look out for cops – especially cops with their lights on. After they’ve been driving for a while, the brunette asks the blonde if she’s … Continue reading

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I was hiding innocently in the fridge

cheater-caught

Three guys were at the Pearly Gates when Peter answered. He said there was one space open for someone. He asked them how they died. “I came home one day and saw my wife in bed, naked. I looked all … Continue reading

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Adam and Eve

nice-boobs

After spending time with Eve, Adam was walking in the Garden with God. Adam told God how much the woman means to him and how blessed he feels to have her. Adam began to ask questions about her. Adam: Lord, … Continue reading

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Go to Hell, there are no Catholics there

sexy-Dallas-cheerleaders-girls

Three nuns went to a football game and three men got stuck sitting behind them. The men couldn’t see very well because of the nun’s little nun hats. So they came up with a plan to make them leave. ”I … Continue reading

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Chemistry men & women

crazy-guy-checking-girls-breast

Element Name: MAN Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50) Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily.  Fairly dense and sometimes flaky.Difficult to find a pure sample.  Due to rust, aging samples are unable … Continue reading

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Feel like a woman

girls-fishing-with-bra

I’m sitting on this plane, eating my dinner, when all of a sudden the captain comes on the loudspeaker and tells us that the plane is about to crash land into the mountains. The next thing I know this woman … Continue reading

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Blonde pregnancy

doggie-style-pants

What does a blonde say when she finds out she’s pregnant? Are you sure it’s mine?

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Computer vs. air conditioner

how-to-protect-privacy-in-internet-cafe

How is a computer like an air conditioner? When you open Windows it won’t work!

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Camping night

funny-gorilla

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. ”Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replies, ”I … Continue reading

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Cheap parking

sexy-girl-hugs-for-25cents

A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need … Continue reading

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The reason why I fired my secretary

blow-job-wedding-cake

Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn’t feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say “Happy Birthday,” and probably have a present for me. She didn’t even … Continue reading

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Things I’ve learned from my children

first-ticket-for-speeding

1. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 2. A 3-year-old is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 3. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 4. … Continue reading

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Programmer and frog

nerds-shirt-i-screw-i-nut-i-bolt

A programmer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. … Continue reading

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The joke is in your hand

Maradona-dick-size

Above the urinal, written on the wall: Why are you looking up here? The joke is in your hand!

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Skin canoes

hot-ballon-bird

Three men are found in the wilderness by civilized cannibals. The men are led to a grave site next to the water. “You have two choices of death,” says the chief. “We either will kill you as a coward, or we will … Continue reading

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Blonde’s puzzle

drunken-girl

One day, a blonde named Sally was putting together a puzzle. She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help. ”It’s supposed to be a tiger!” Sally cried. ”Honey,” said Dan, “Put the … Continue reading

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Barbie and Britney

dunken-girl-sleep-with-dustbin

Q: What do Barbie and Britney Spears have in common? A: Both are blonde, brainless and made out of plastic.

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You left your wheelchair at the bar again

drunken-girl-shitting

A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face. “Maybe all I need is some fresh air,” thought the man as he crawled outside. He tried … Continue reading

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Getting out of mud

sexy-teacher-get-attentions-from-all-young-football-players

Two guys were attending a party in the woods, when all of a sudden, the skies opened up and rained torrents on everybody. They ran for their car, jumped in, and gunned it. They were going pretty fast when an … Continue reading

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IQ test

how-woman-use-laptop-300

Intelligence Test Instructions: Write each of your answers down, it makes a difference! You will be allowed 10 minutes to complete the test. Write your answers in the spaces provided. Are you ready? What is the time? Start. 1) Some … Continue reading

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