Category Archives: Office Jokes

funny jokes on work, on office life

Old tech support junks

funny-game-over-wedding-cake

1. Compaq is considering changing the command “Press Any Key” to “Press Return Key” because of the flood of calls asking where the “Any” key is. 2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to … Continue reading

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Grizzly bear warning

funny-polar-bear-and-girl

The Alaska Department of Fish and Game recently issued this bulletin… “Warning: In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly OKbear conflicts, the Alaska Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters and fishermen to take extra precautions and … Continue reading

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Talking penguin

linux-vs-windows

A penguin walks into a bar and asks for a sandwich and a pint! The bartender is astounded by this talking flightless bird and asks about his life. The penguin goes on to explain that he is working at the … Continue reading

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Employee of the month

funny-wrong-job-ice-cream-maker

These individual quotes were reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation. (1) ”Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom…..and has started to dig.” (2) ”His men would follow him anywhere, ……. but … Continue reading

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Millennium Computers

funny-scene-i-did-pisa-tower

Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and announced to the first man, ”Congratulations sir, You’re the father of twins.” ”What a coincidence,” the man said with some … Continue reading

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The rules (by her)

how-to-get-a-man-to-wash-his-hands

1. The Female always makes THE RULES. 2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice. 3. No Male can possible know all THE RULES. 4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change … Continue reading

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Oreo personality test

funny-shadow-illusion-not-breast-just-cups

Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight in to their personalities. Choose which method best describes your favorite method of eating Oreos: 1. The whole thing all at once. 2. One bite … Continue reading

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Blonde looking for a job

funny-wrong-job-ice-cream-maker

A blonde was filling out an application form for a job. She promptly filled the columns entitled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc. Then she came to the column: SALARY EXPECTED. ”Yes.”

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Funny and real instruction labels…

funny-girl-i-love-to-fart

ON A HAIR DRYER: Do not use while sleeping. ON A BAG OF FRITOS: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: Directions: Use like regular soap. ON A FROZEN DINNER: Serving … Continue reading

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I am still winning

funny-wrong-job-ice-cream-maker

There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a soda machine and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst. She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a … Continue reading

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One-word telegram

funny-ladies-put-your-butts-here

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that … Continue reading

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Naughty parrot

funny-cat-massage

A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said, ”Hey, lady! You’re really ugly!” The lady was furious and continued on her way. On the way home, she passed by the pet store again and the parrot … Continue reading

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Smart Dog

funny-photo-woman-and-pooping-dog

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: “10 lamb chops, please.” Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog’s mouth, and quickly … Continue reading

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Parrot and the robber

sex-education-condom-protect-yourself

One night a robber broke into a home and heard a voice say, ”Jesus is watching you!”while he rummaged through the desk. He replied, ”Who said that?!” Once again he heard the same thing, ”Jesus is watching you!” The robber … Continue reading

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Inventions

wearable-nintendo

This man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs. He says to the clerk, “I’d like to register my new invention. It’s a folding bottle.” “OK,” says the clerk. “What do you call it?” “A … Continue reading

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Install phone pole

big-breast-helps

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead team were sent out to install telephone poles for the Telephone Company. After the first day, the brunette team had installed 30 poles, the redhead team had installed 37 poles, and the blonde … Continue reading

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Insane asylum fence

horny-monkey

A guy is walking past a high, solid wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, “Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!” He continues walking along the long fence, but, being a curious person, he can’t help … Continue reading

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The chastity belt key

shooting-the-cheater-caught

All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades. One knight told his best friend – “My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could … Continue reading

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The lumberjack

funny-scene-big-penis

A large, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny little guy showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks’ door. The … Continue reading

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Not to use efficiency techniques at home

sexy-lady-with-brain

An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. “You need to be careful about trying these techniques at home.” “Why?” asked somebody from the audience. “I watched my wife’s routine at dinner for years,” the expert explained. … Continue reading

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