Tag Archives: sleep

Sandy was drinking at a pub

funny-who-deserves-what-for-a-bicycle-fan

Sandy was drinking at a pub all night. When he got up to leave, he fell flat on his face. He tried to stand again, but to no avail, falling flat on his face. He decided to crawl outside and … Continue reading

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If you stick that damn thing in me again, I’m going to break it in half!

funny-guy-with-girl-on-thighs

A couple went to church every week, but every week without fail the husband would fall asleep during the sermon. The wife, being embarrassed by her husband’s loud snoring, decided to bring a needle to the next service and poke … Continue reading

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What did Eve say to Adam when she didn’t want any more children?

funny-family-photo-in-swimming-pool

A man and his wife were sitting in church, the man was sleeping and his wife was knitting. The priest asked “Who created the Earth and man?” The woman poked the man with her knitting needle and the man screamed, … Continue reading

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Never lie to your mother

funny-hairdo-mouth-eyes-nose

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but noticing how beautiful John’s room-mate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his room-mate, and this had … Continue reading

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What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?

funny-hat-for-girl

Joey and Katie are sitting in school. Katie is sleeping and the teacher asks her a question. “Katie, who created Heaven and Earth?” Joey sees Katie sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil. “Jesus Christ almighty! !” Exclaimed … Continue reading

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Top ten… sleeping at desk

funny-obama

10) ”They told me at the blood bank this might happen.” 9) ”This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.” 8) ”Whew! Guess I left the top off … Continue reading

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Pretend we’re married

dude-you-will-get-three-mother-in-laws

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on … Continue reading

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Sleepy trucker

ass-symbols

After driving for about six hours, a trucker decides to pull over and sleep for a little while. As soon as he falls asleep, he is awoken by some knocks on the door of the cab. “Can you tell me … Continue reading

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Cat scan

funny-dog-and-puppet

There was a lady, who had a dog that she loved, and he followed her everywhere. One morning she woke up, went to the bathroom, came out, and realized that her dog wasn’t at her feet. She found him in … Continue reading

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Meals on wheels

funny-statue-fucking-a-cat

Once upon a time, there was a cat who died. When she got to heaven, God asked her how she liked being on earth. She told the Lord that it was awful — she had to sleep in cold back … Continue reading

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A reasonable wife

funny sign keep this area clean

After being married for 30 years, a man took a look at his wife and said, “Honey, do you realize 30 years ago, I had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a pull out bed and watched a … Continue reading

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