Halftime, Switch Sides

Halftime. Switch sides.

A travelling salesman was out in the country one evening and wasn't sure how to get back to the main highway. He came upon a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night. "Sure," said the farmer. "I've got some beans and cornbread on the stove, but I've only got one bed, so ...

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I’ll just wait on the cops

I

A man and a woman were involved in a terrible car accident and both cars were totaled. They climbed from the wreckage and the woman stood in awe. ''Our cars are demolished, yet we walk unharmed. This must be a sign from God that we are to be best friends for the rest of our lives,'' ...

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He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!

He

70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, "George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?" George replied, "God and me are tight.  He knows I ...

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Suicide blonde

Suicide blonde

Why did the mirror have 6 holes in it? A blonde tried to shoot herself!

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Top ten reasons to go to work naked…

Top ten reasons to go to work naked

1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!" 2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan. 3. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants." 4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse. 5. You want to ...

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Top ten things NOT to say to your new girlfriend’s parents…

Top ten things NOT to say to your new girlfriend

10. Can I pull my car in your garage? I'm not sure how long that cop car will stay lost. 9. There ain't nothing that beats that great feeling of knowing your HIV test results are negative! I bet Sara's will be okay too. 8. Nice place you got here. That painting looks expensive. I bet a ...

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Top ten signs your spouse is having a cyber affair

stop-staring-tits, touch them

10. Lately, she sits at the computer naked. 9. After signing off, he always has a cigarette. 8. The giant rubber inflatable disk drive. 7. In the morning, the computer screen is all fogged up. 6. He's gotten amazingly good at typing with one hand. 5. Every day, Bill Gates sends 10 million dollars worth of flowers. 4. The jam in ...

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Kiss Bush

funny-pose-I-enjoy-the-blow-job with Mr.McDonald

A wounded American soldier in a battlefield hospital in Iraq tells the nurse: "I wish I could kiss the American flag if I am going to die!" Nurse, extremely touched by the soldier's patriotism: "Actually, I have the American flag tattooed on my bottom. You may kiss my ass, if you don't mind it." Soldier: "Of course ...

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