Sandy was drinking at a pub

funny-who-deserves-what-for-a-bicycle-fan

Sandy was drinking at a pub all night. When he got up to leave, he fell flat on his face. He tried to stand again, but to no avail, falling flat on his face. He decided to crawl outside and get some fresh air to see whether that would sober him up. Once outside, he stood ...

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Texan with a new car

funny-car-beast

Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart aleck Tex," said the first. "He’s going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back." "Not Tex," the second cowboy replied. "He’ll always be just a good ol’ boy. When he walks in, I’m sure all ...

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A rare book

funny-reading-book-cover-in-train

A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it. "Not Gutenberg?" Gasped the collector. "Yes, that was it!" "You did it! You’ve thrown away one of the first books ever ...

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Red Cross

funny-wedding-cake-couple-ski-together

Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures of the office and went skiing. Alas, no sooner did he reach the slopes than he heard an ominous rumbling: moments later a sheet of snow came crashing toward him. Fortunately, Mr. Jacobson was able to jump into a cave just before the avalanche hit. ...

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A loyal wife

funny-shit-slogan-i-will-not-love-you-long-time

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife, "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I ...

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Indian weather prediction

funny-weather-forecasting-stone

It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets, and when he looked at the sky, he could not tell what the heck ...

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The guardian angel

funny wedding photo

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. " Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile ...

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0 to 200 in 6 seconds

funny-girl-smelling-her-breast

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife ...

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