Redneck lawn

Posted on July 6, 2011 by JokesLab

You might be a redneck if you're mowing your lawn and find a car.

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The ‘hind-lick’ maneuver

Posted on July 6, 2011 by JokesLab

A woman goes into a restaurant in a small town in the South. She orders some chicken and starts to eat. Eating too fast, she starts to choke on a chicken bone. Buford and Buck, two country boys in the next booth, notice she is choking. So they get up ...

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Redneck family reunion

Posted on July 6, 2011 by JokesLab

You might be a redneck if you go to your family reunion to meet women!

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Redneck in-laws

Posted on July 6, 2011 by JokesLab

You might be a redneck if you've been married three times and still have the same in-laws!

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Redneck sweetheart

Posted on July 6, 2011 by JokesLab

You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it!

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Yeah, Alabama

Posted on July 6, 2011 by JokesLab

A Tennessee man and an Alabama man were both fighting in a war and were captured by the enemy. "Before we put you to death," said the enemy, "do you have any last requests?" "Yes," said the Alabaman. "Could you play 'Yeah, Alabama' before you shoot me?" "Sure," said the enemy. "How about you, Tennessean?" "Could you shoot me ...

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Rednecks and underwear

Posted on July 6, 2011 by JokesLab

How do you know when a redneck isn't wearing any underwear? There's dandruff on his/her shoes.

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Railroad redneck

Posted on July 6, 2011 by JokesLab

Three railroad construction workers, a Chinese man, an Italian, and a redneck, are all sitting down to lunch. "Man," the Chinese man says. "If I get another egg roll in my lunch, I'll kill myself." "Man," the Italian says. "If I get another slice of pizza in my lunch, I'll kill myself." "Man," the redneck says. "If I ...

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A death in the blonde’s family

Posted on July 3, 2011 by JokesLab

One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened. The blonde said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. The next day the neighbor went back over to the ...

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Blonde jokes

Posted on July 3, 2011 by JokesLab

Q: How many blonde jokes are there? A: One. The rest are all true stories.

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Female hormones in beer

Posted on July 3, 2011 by JokesLab

Two men were in a pub. One man said, ''Did you know that beer contains female hormones?'' The other man said, ''No! Is it true?'' ''Yes,'' said the first man. ''If you drink too much, you start talking crap and you drive terribly.''

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Presidential surprise

Posted on July 3, 2011 by JokesLab

The President was out walking on a beautiful snowy day, when he saw that somebody had urinated on the White House lawn to spell out "The President Sucks." Infuriated, he called on the secret service to figure out who had done it. In a few hours, they came to him and told him that there ...

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TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER

Posted on July 3, 2011 by JokesLab

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car that said: "TWO PROSTITUTES -- $50.00." A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: "JESUS SAVES." One of the girls ...

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Five good leads

Posted on July 3, 2011 by JokesLab

Tommy Shaughnessy enters the confessional box and says, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman." The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?" "Yes, Father, it is." "And who was the woman you were with?" "I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation." "Well, Tommy, I'm sure to ...

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Research findings

Posted on July 3, 2011 by JokesLab

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it) If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it) A pig's ...

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Texas thug athletes

Posted on July 3, 2011 by JokesLab

If two Dallas Cowboys are in a car. Who's driving? The cops.

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A basketball coach

Posted on July 3, 2011 by JokesLab

In a class on abnormal psychology, the instructor was about to introduce the subject of manic depression. The instructor asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth, screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?" A young man in the rear raised his ...

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Suffocated

Posted on July 3, 2011 by JokesLab

Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when one of the guys got too close to the blade and cut off his arm. His buddy put the severed arm in a plastic bag and rushed it down to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day he goes to see his ...

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Buried at Sea

Posted on July 3, 2011 by JokesLab

This elderly Newfoundland fisherman is on his deathbed and summons his 3 sons to his bedside. "Well boys, the time is near, and when I pass I'd like to be buried at sea." So the boys agreed. A few days after his passing, the local front page read, "Local Fishermen Were Shocked Today When Their Nets Brought ...

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A horoscope for the workplace

Posted on July 3, 2011 by JokesLab

ASTROLOGY: tells us about you and your future simply by your birthday. The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of your birth. Demographics tell us what you like, dislike, whom you vote for, what you buy, and what you watch on TV. Well, the Corporate Zodiac goes a step further: simply by your job ...

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