Tag Archives: woman

Genie can’t deliver

funny-shark-seat-and-woman

There was a guy walking down the street in San Fransisco, and he tripped over an old looking oil lamp. He picked it up and hid it under his jacket, because he thought it was priceless. While he was running … Continue reading

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A free wonderful weekend

funny-guy-with-sexy-game-girl

Sam and a beautiful woman walk into a very posh Beverly Hills furrier. “Show the lady your finest mink!” the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. … Continue reading

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Adam, Eve, and God

funny-petition-gay-marriage-killed-the-dinosaurs

“God,” said Adam, “Why did you make Eve so beautiful?” “So you would love her.” “But why did you make her so dumb?” “So she would love you.”

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Difference between men and women

funny-man-with-two-girls

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want. 2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never … Continue reading

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I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee

funny-ladies-put-your-butts-here

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he’s doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he’s going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a … Continue reading

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Why did you eat him?

funny-kid-i-pad-myself

A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor’s office. He inquisitively asked the lady, “Why is your stomach so big?” She replied, “I’m having a baby.” With big eyes, he asked, “Is … Continue reading

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Sunbath

funny-guy-exposing-buttocks-in-girls-group-photo

A woman was staying at a hotel and she decided to go sunbathing on the hotel roof. When she laid down to sun her back, her bikini top fell off. She didn’t care so much, though, because nobody ever came … Continue reading

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The blonde makeout

funny-erection-due-to-two-girls

A guy and a blond are on a date, and after dinner and a movie, they head on up to Makeout Mountain, where things get a little hot ‘n’ heavy. Then the guy leans over. “Do you want to go … Continue reading

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Why do wives live longer ?

funny-feminist-shoes-naked-man-as-heel

Why do wives live longer than their husbands? Because they aren’t married to women!

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The wrong marriage

hilarious-weird-and-sexy-t-shirts-design-rate-my-breast

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied, “Yes I am, I married the wrong man.”

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How was man created?

funny-and-sexy-ads-flirt-vodka

After three weeks in the garden, God came to visit Eve. “How’s things, Eve?” He asked. “It is all so beautiful, God,” she replied. “The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful but I just … Continue reading

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You unzipped my fly three times

David-get-a-mouth-hug-from-a-Japanese-bitch

In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up … Continue reading

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Men in heaven

funny-pose--delicious

Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

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Today you are staff

safety-driving-school

A hardworking female executive dies and meets St. Peter at the pearly gates and he says, “You’ve shown an outstanding aptitude for making business decisions. Choose whether you will go to heaven or to hell.” “I don’t know!” she flounders. … Continue reading

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Go get your mother

funny-scene-big-john

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a near-by mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls moved apart and back together again by themselves. The lad asked his Father, ”What … Continue reading

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Men vs. Women

funny-man-and-woman-before-marriage

NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, … Continue reading

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How do you like that?

funny-blow-job

A woman goes to the hospital, and her doctor gives her a sonogram. He sees the baby and suddenly the baby says, “Are you my daddy?” The doctor is shocked and goes to get another doctor, who looks at the … Continue reading

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Lust a lot

3-words-that-will-save-the-economy

While riding a bus, I overheard one woman ask another, with great curiosity, “Well, what happened on your date with dashing Prince Lancelot?” “Yuk!” was the disillusioned reply. “He was more like disgusting Prince Lust-a-lot—and I was the one who … Continue reading

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The Lord will provide

funny-shark-seat-and-woman

Old Mrs. Watkins awoke one spring morning to find that the river had flooded the entire first floor of her house. Looking out of her window, she saw that the water was still rising. Two men passing by on a … Continue reading

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Psychiatric Hotline

funny-photo-curb-your-enthusiasm

Hello, welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline. “If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. “If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.” “If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.” “If you are paranoid-delusional, … Continue reading

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