Category Archives: Office Jokes

funny jokes on work, on office life

Murphy’s laws of combat

dog-reading-book-how-to-pick-up-bitches

If the enemy is in range, so are you Incoming fire has the right of way Don’t look conspicuous; it draws fire There is always a way That way is always mined Try to look unimportant; they might be low … Continue reading

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Fart is not allowed

funny-girl-i-love-to-fart, pants

There was an old man in a nursing home who always fell out of his wheelchair. Finally, the nurses decided to do something about it, so they appointed a nurse to watch him all the time. He started to lean … Continue reading

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Bad news

buttocks-shot

Doctor: Well, I have good news and bad news. Patient: Go with the good news first. Doctor: You have 24 hours to live. Patient: What?! How about the bad news? Doctor: I forgot to call you yesterday.

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Buying TV

sexy-wife-in-kitchen

A blonde walks into an appliance store, and asks to buy a television set. “Sorry,” says the owner. “We don’t allow blondes in here.” The blonde leaves and dyes her hair brown. The next day, she returns and asks to … Continue reading

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Blonde secretary’s memo to her boss

geek-girl-push-the-right-button

(you need know y2k problem on old computers…) TO: Boss FROM: Blondie RE: Changing Calendars from Y2K I hope that I haven’t misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to … Continue reading

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Smarter man

drunken-girl

Three men were walking down a street and found a bottle laying on the side of the road. They picked it up and a genie popped out. The genie said, ”You will each get one wish.” The first man wished … Continue reading

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No Ears

cigarette-glasses

A man was in a bad accident and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the loss of both ears, which made him very self-conscious. However, he received a large sum of money from his insurance company. … Continue reading

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When you have PMS

yes-buttocks

1) Everyone around you has an attitude problem. 2) You’re adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet. 3) The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. 4) Your man is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. 5) You’re … Continue reading

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A software engineer, a hardware engineer and a branch manager

car-crash-photo

A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control … Continue reading

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You know you’re out of college when…

sexiest-teacher-guys-dream-for

1. Your salary is less than your tuition. 2. Your potted plants stay alive. 3. Shacking in a twin-sized bed seems absurd. 4. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 5. You have to pay your own credit … Continue reading

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Salesman

buttocks-shot

The manager of a megastore came to check on his new salesman. “How many customers did you serve today?” the manager asked. “One,” replied the new guy. “Only one?” said the boss, “how much was the sale?” The salesman answered, … Continue reading

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Grass eater

dog-peeing-on-woman

One afternoon, a man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. ”Why are you eating grass?” … Continue reading

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Where’s my Rolex?

Dmitry-Medvedev-got-faked-jacket

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver’s side … Continue reading

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Rules for work

bear-playing-camera

1.  Never give me work in the morning.   Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me.  The challenge of a deadline is refreshing. 2.  If it’s really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 … Continue reading

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Intelligent comments

geek-girl-push-the-right-button

How do you know when a man’s going to say something intelligent? He starts his sentence with ”A woman told me…”

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Surgeon’s favourite

funny-old-gentleman-and-boobs

Four surgeons were sitting around discussing who they like to operate on. The first surgeon said, “I like operating on librarians.  When you open them up everything is in alphabetical order”. The second surgeon said, “I like operating on accountants.  … Continue reading

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Discrimination

boys-like-balls

It was recess and the pre-schoolers came in. The teacher asked Susie what she did today. ”Well, I played in the sandbox,” she said. The teacher said, ”If you can spell sand, I’ll give you a fresh-baked cookie.” So Susie … Continue reading

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Sons

curious-man-studying-girls-buttocks

Four guys are drinking in a bar, bragging about their sons. “My son,” the first one says, “started out washing cars at dealership, but now owns the dealership and just gave one of his friends four new cars of his … Continue reading

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The latest version of the Internet

techy-girl-nail

Customer: “So that’ll get me connected to the Internet, right?” Tech Support: “Yeah.” Customer: “And that’s the latest version of the Internet, right?” Tech Support: “Uhh…uh…uh…yeah.”

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Old MacDonald had a

roosters-playing-soccer

Two college basketball players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week. The exam was a fill-in-the-blank. The last question read, … Continue reading

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