Category Archives: Church and God Jokes

jokes on church and God related issues

Dad’s poem

funny-boy-reading-playboy

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, ’My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.’ The second boy says, ’That’s … Continue reading

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Pope in New York

funny condom ad, endrosed by the Pope

The Pope goes to New York. He is picked up at the airport by a limousine. He looks at the beautiful car and says to the driver, ”You know, I hardly ever get to drive. Would you please let me?” … Continue reading

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We judge on results

funny-pose-fucked-by-the-bishop

A minister has just died and is standing in line waiting to be judged and admitted to Heaven. While waiting he asks the man in front of him about himself. The man says, “I am a taxi driver from Noo … Continue reading

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B.C.

Welcome-to-hell

A woman who was rather old-fashioned, delicate, and elegant was planning a week’s vacation in Florida so she wrote to a particular campground and asked for a reservation. She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped, but didn’t … Continue reading

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the Pope is his driver

funny condom ad, endrosed by the Pope

One day, the Pope is visiting America and driving around Washington in his limo when he gets an idea. “Driver? Can I drive for a while?” “Sure,” says the driver. How can you say no to the Pope? So the … Continue reading

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Do I have to tell him the war is over?

sexy-kung-fu-girl

About a month ago, a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his priest, “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a refugee in my attic.” “Well,” answered the priest, … Continue reading

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Wishes

sexy-santa-claus-gifts-on-butts

Three friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all asked,”When you are in your casket and your friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say … Continue reading

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Thank the lord!

female-santa-claus

There was a guy in the middle of the desert and his car broke down. He started walking and he came to a monastery, where he asked them if he could borrow a mule. The monks lent him one, and … Continue reading

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Journey to the other side

Welcome-to-hell

Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana. He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer, to let her know he had arrived safely. Unfortunately, he mistyped a letter and the e-mail … Continue reading

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What did Eve say to Adam when she didn’t want any more children?

funny-family-photo-in-swimming-pool

A man and his wife were sitting in church, the man was sleeping and his wife was knitting. The priest asked “Who created the Earth and man?” The woman poked the man with her knitting needle and the man screamed, … Continue reading

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A silent debate between Pope and Moishe

make-love-instead-of-doing-useless-protesting

Several centuries ago, the Pope decided that all the Jews had to leave the Vatican. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Jewish community. So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member … Continue reading

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Recruiting

skyy-vodka-how-to-get-woman

A highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the pearly gates by St. Peter himself. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get … Continue reading

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Howard be thy name

look-at-my-chest-when-I-am-talking-to-you

A blonde dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates, where she is greeted by St. Peter. “Welcome!” he says. “Because we are currently operating at 99% capacity, we can only let a limited number of souls into heaven. Therefore, you … Continue reading

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I am married to your sister

funny-wedding-costume-mask

There is a man who goes out drinking all the time and comes home very later every night. So one night his wife decides to teach him a lesson.  She dresses up like Satan and decides to hide in the … Continue reading

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She made me a better offer

unhappy-bride

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and … Continue reading

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Heavenly Reward

bikini-girl-on-beach

Three guys died and when they got to the pearly gates, St. Peter met them there. St. Peter said, “I know that you guys are forgiven because you’re here. But before I let you into heaven, I have to ask … Continue reading

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What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?

funny-hat-for-girl

Joey and Katie are sitting in school. Katie is sleeping and the teacher asks her a question. “Katie, who created Heaven and Earth?” Joey sees Katie sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil. “Jesus Christ almighty! !” Exclaimed … Continue reading

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I was hiding innocently in the fridge

cheater-caught

Three guys were at the Pearly Gates when Peter answered. He said there was one space open for someone. He asked them how they died. “I came home one day and saw my wife in bed, naked. I looked all … Continue reading

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Adam and Eve

nice-boobs

After spending time with Eve, Adam was walking in the Garden with God. Adam told God how much the woman means to him and how blessed he feels to have her. Adam began to ask questions about her. Adam: Lord, … Continue reading

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Go to Hell, there are no Catholics there

sexy-Dallas-cheerleaders-girls

Three nuns went to a football game and three men got stuck sitting behind them. The men couldn’t see very well because of the nun’s little nun hats. So they came up with a plan to make them leave. ”I … Continue reading

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