Howard be thy name

A blonde dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates, where she is greeted by St. Peter.

look-at-my-chest-when-I-am-talking-to-you“Welcome!” he says. “Because we are currently operating at 99% capacity, we can only let a limited number of souls into heaven. Therefore, you must answer my questions correctly to gain entrance.”

“Okay,” says the blonde.

“Here’s your question: name two days of the week that begin with the letter T.”

“That’s easy. Today and tomorrow!”

“Well, that’s not the answer I was thinking of, but I’ll give you another question. How many seconds are there in a year?”

“That’s easy. Twelve!”


“January second, February second, March second–”

“Okay, okay. I can see you misunderstood this question as well. Okay, one more chance. What’s God’s name?”

“That’s easy. Howard!”


“You know — ‘Our Father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name…”

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