Author Archives: JokesLab

Grass eater

dog-peeing-on-woman

One afternoon, a man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. ”Why are you eating grass?” … Continue reading

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Looking for loopholes

buttocks-shot

Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died? He was looking for loopholes!

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Sweet talk

funny-guy-with-girl-on-thighs

On a plane, a man and his wife are offered tea and both accept. The man tries to be sweet to his wife, saying “Pass the sugar, sugar…. Pass the honey, honey.” Then he says, “Pass the tea, you old … Continue reading

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Where’s my Rolex?

Dmitry-Medvedev-got-faked-jacket

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver’s side … Continue reading

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Definition of crying shame

5-us-presidents-funny-obama-over-bush

Q: What is the definition “lucky break?” A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff. Q: What is the definition of a “crying shame”? A: There was an empty seat.

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Age guessing

real-porn-star

One day at the rest home, an old man and woman are talking. Out of nowhere the woman says, “I can guess your age.” The man doesn’t believe her, but tells her to go ahead and try. “Pull down your … Continue reading

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Sex or secs

young-girls-in-disneyland

An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, “Daddy, what is Sex?” The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she is old enough to … Continue reading

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Rules for work

bear-playing-camera

1.  Never give me work in the morning.   Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me.  The challenge of a deadline is refreshing. 2.  If it’s really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 … Continue reading

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In-laws and out-laws

photo_bombs-eating-boobs

What is the difference between out-laws, and in-laws? Out-laws are wanted.

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Men and diapers

funny-guy-with-girl-on-thighs

Why are men like diapers? They are always on my ass and full of shit – thank goodness they’re disposable!

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Intelligent comments

geek-girl-push-the-right-button

How do you know when a man’s going to say something intelligent? He starts his sentence with ”A woman told me…”

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Mother-in-law

funny-mating-giraffe-and-horse

A small farm boy was milking his cow when all of a sudden a bull came charging towards him. As horrified workers nearby watched, the boy calmly continued his milking. To everyone’s astonishment, the bull stopped a few inches from … Continue reading

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Question for lawyer

funny-gorilla-enjoying-the-breast

A teacher, a thief and a lawyer all die in the same freak accident. So when they reach the pearly gates, St. Peter tells them that, unfortunately, heaven is overcrowded, so they each have to answer a question correctly for … Continue reading

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10 things your mom would never say to you

combing-hais-mother-and-daughters

10. How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back? 9. Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too. 8. Let me smell that shirt — Yeah, it’s good for another week. 7. Go ahead and … Continue reading

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You can try again

funny-old-gentleman-and-boobs

A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant. Scared, she confides this ’news’ to her mother. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, “Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!”The girl picks up the … Continue reading

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Plus sign

funny-kangaroo

A ten year-old Jewish boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis; but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school. After … Continue reading

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Sanitary Blonde

hungry-girl-eating-chocolate-sexy

A blonde was driving across several states to go visit her family. She was five hours late and her family was getting worried. When she finally got there she explained that she had seen 10 signs that said “CLEAN RESTROOMS … Continue reading

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Revenge

you-take-the-woman-I-take-her-drink

There were two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school and were both virgins and enjoyed losing their virginity with each other in 10th grade. When they graduated, they wanted to both go to … Continue reading

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Surgeon’s favourite

funny-old-gentleman-and-boobs

Four surgeons were sitting around discussing who they like to operate on. The first surgeon said, “I like operating on librarians.  When you open them up everything is in alphabetical order”. The second surgeon said, “I like operating on accountants.  … Continue reading

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Bush and his daughters

5-us-presidents-funny-obama-over-bush

Ever since the Bush daughters got into trouble with the law for underage drinking, the President has lectured them constantly about the evils of alcohol. His daughters were tired of having the same conversation week after week, so they finally … Continue reading

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