Category Archives: Office Jokes

funny jokes on work, on office life

Performance evaluations

terrosists-in-beach

1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 2. I would not allow this employee to breed. 3. This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a … Continue reading

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Why I am so tired?

hairdo-for-sleeping-in-office-or-class

For a couple years I’ve been blaming it on iron poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies. Now I found out the real reason. I’m tired because I’m overworked. The population of this country is 237 … Continue reading

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Little Johnny

a-curious-baby-checking-mother-buttocks

There was a little boy named Johnny who used to hang out at the local corner market. The owner didn’t know what Johnny’s problem was, but the boys would constantly tease him. They would always comment that he was two … Continue reading

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What kind of boy did your daughter marry?

funny-wedding-cake-you-cannot-run-away

Congratulating a friend after her son and daughter got married within a month of each other, a woman asked, “What kind of boy did your daughter marry?” “Oh, he’s wonderful,” gushed the mother. “He lets her sleep late, ants her … Continue reading

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Horse’s ass

ducks-crossing-road

The U.S. Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That’s an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that’s the way they built them in England, and the U.S. railroads were built by … Continue reading

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Burger King

black-burger

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the … Continue reading

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I am still winning

public-entrance

It was a really hot day and this blonde decided she would go buy a coke. So she went to the coke machine and put her money in, and a coke came out so she kept putting money in it, … Continue reading

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Hot bath

book-bathtub

Feeling edgy, a man took a hot bath. Just as he’d become comfortable, the front doorbell rang. The man got out of the tub, put on terry cloth slippers and a large towel, wrapped his head in a smaller towel, … Continue reading

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A man with no ears

checking-boyfriend-bird

A man was in a bad accident and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the loss of both ears, which made him very self-conscious. However, he received a large sum of money from his insurance company. … Continue reading

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Do I have to tell him the war is over?

sexy-kung-fu-girl

About a month ago, a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his priest, “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a refugee in my attic.” “Well,” answered the priest, … Continue reading

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Expensive perfume

pussy-and-cat

A young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like expensive perfume. She turns to an old woman and says arrogantly, ”Giorgio Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!” Another young, beautiful woman gets onto the elevator and also smells of very … Continue reading

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Journey to the other side

Welcome-to-hell

Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana. He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer, to let her know he had arrived safely. Unfortunately, he mistyped a letter and the e-mail … Continue reading

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Wonderful time

cheater-girl-with-boyfriends-friend

A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband’s best friend. After making love, while they’re just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman’s house, she picks up the receiver. Her … Continue reading

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All the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me too

sexiest-teacher-guys-dream-for

Mother: Come on, Victor, you have to get out of bed or you’ll be late for school. Victor: Aw, Mom do I have to? All the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me too. Mother: Yes you do. … Continue reading

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Writing’s powerful message

microsoft-girl-blue-screen

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a “great” writer. When asked to define “great” he said “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read,stuff that people will react … Continue reading

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Hillbilly math

book-planter-smart-plant

A Hillbilly family’s only son had saved up money to go to college and after about 3 years he came back home. They were sitting around the dinner table when the dad said, ”Well son, you have  gone to college … Continue reading

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FedEx UPS merger

facebook-bra

Did you hear about the FedEx-UPS merger? The new company’s gonna be called FedUp!

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Golfing buddy

beard-can-hold-ping-pong

There was an old man named Bill and one of the things he most enjoyed was playing golf with his old buddy Fred. His wife always commented on how happy he looked after a game. But one day he came … Continue reading

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What did Eve say to Adam when she didn’t want any more children?

funny-family-photo-in-swimming-pool

A man and his wife were sitting in church, the man was sleeping and his wife was knitting. The priest asked “Who created the Earth and man?” The woman poked the man with her knitting needle and the man screamed, … Continue reading

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We’re going to get help

clown-hot-balloon

While cruising at 40,000 feet, the airplane shuddered and Mr. Benson looked out the window. ”Good Lord!” he screamed, ”one of the engines just blew up!” Other passengers left their seats and came running over. Suddenly, the aircraft was rocked … Continue reading

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