Category Archives: Computer Jokes

Jokes on computer and internet

Computer gender

sexy-tech-girl

      Women claim that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because: In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless. They are … Continue reading

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Microsoft tech drafted

funny-sale-sign-save-10

One of Microsoft Network’s finest support techs was drafted into the Army and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instructions, handed a rifle, and a couple rounds of ammo. He loaded the rifle and … Continue reading

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Computer dating

funny-wedding-animal-legs-bride-legs

A hopeful suitor dropped into a computer-dating center and registered his qualifications. He wanted someone who enjoyed water sports, liked company, favored formal attire, and was very small. The computer operated faultlessly. It sent him a penguin.  

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10 signs you are internet-addicted

10 signs you are internet-addicted

10) You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom, and check your facebook on the way back to bed. 9) Your firstborn is named Dotcom. 8) You turn off your router and are suddenly filled with a … Continue reading

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Deleted characters

geek-girl-push-the-right-button

Where do the characters go when I use my backspace or delete them on my PC? ANSWER: The characters go to different places, depending on whom you ask: The Buddhist explanation: If a character has lived rightly, and its karma … Continue reading

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Blonde secretary’s memo to her boss

geek-girl-push-the-right-button

(you need know y2k problem on old computers…) TO: Boss FROM: Blondie RE: Changing Calendars from Y2K I hope that I haven’t misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to … Continue reading

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No Ears

cigarette-glasses

A man was in a bad accident and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the loss of both ears, which made him very self-conscious. However, he received a large sum of money from his insurance company. … Continue reading

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A software engineer, a hardware engineer and a branch manager

car-crash-photo

A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control … Continue reading

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The latest version of the Internet

techy-girl-nail

Customer: “So that’ll get me connected to the Internet, right?” Tech Support: “Yeah.” Customer: “And that’s the latest version of the Internet, right?” Tech Support: “Uhh…uh…uh…yeah.”

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Microsoft car

microsoft-girl-blue-screen

At a computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 … Continue reading

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Bill Gates’ punishment

techy-girl-nail

Satan greets him: “Welcome Mr. Gates, we’ve been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You’ve been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you’ve got me in a good mood, I’ll … Continue reading

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To my loving wife

sexy-girl-with-too-hot-pants

A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. Because both had jobs, they had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided that the husband would fly … Continue reading

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Email from a friend

geek-girl-push-the-right-button

Email from a friend: “CanYouFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard?”

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Microsoft building

microsoft-girl-blue-screen

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft’s electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter’s position. The pilot saw a tall … Continue reading

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If XXX made toasters

alien-wife-in-kitchen

If Oracle made toasters… They’d claim their toaster was compatible with all brands and styles of bread, but when you got it home you’d discover the Bagel Engine was still in development, the Croissant Extension was three years away and … Continue reading

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Bill Gates and General Motors

microsoft-girl-blue-screen

Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors. “If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades,” boasts Gates, “you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it … Continue reading

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A man with no ears

checking-boyfriend-bird

A man was in a bad accident and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the loss of both ears, which made him very self-conscious. However, he received a large sum of money from his insurance company. … Continue reading

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Journey to the other side

Welcome-to-hell

Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana. He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer, to let her know he had arrived safely. Unfortunately, he mistyped a letter and the e-mail … Continue reading

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Writing’s powerful message

microsoft-girl-blue-screen

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a “great” writer. When asked to define “great” he said “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read,stuff that people will react … Continue reading

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Computer vs. air conditioner

how-to-protect-privacy-in-internet-cafe

How is a computer like an air conditioner? When you open Windows it won’t work!

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