Breakfast:
- 1/2 grapefruit
- 1 slice whole wheat toast
- 8 oz. skim milk
Lunch:
- 4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast
- 1 cup steamed spinach
- 1 cup herb tea
- 1 Oreo cookie
Mid-Afternoon Snack:
- The rest of Oreos in the package
- 2 pints Rocky Road ice cream nuts, cherries and whipped cream
- 1 jar hot fudge sauce
Dinner:
- 2 loaves garlic bread
- 4 cans or 1 large pitcher Coke
- 1 large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
- 3 Snickers bars
Late Evening News:
- Entire frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from freezer)
Rules for This Diet
- If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
- If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
- When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you do not eat more than they do.
- Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
- If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
- Movie-related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel. Examples: Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots and Tootsie Rolls.
- Cookie pieces contain no calories.
- The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
- Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something.
- Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and mashed potatoes.
- Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.
- Anything consumed while standing has no calories. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
- Anything consumed from someone else’s plate has no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to his/her plate. (We ALL know how calories like to cling!)
- REMEMBER: STRESSED SPELLED BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS
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