Blonde nurse

Posted on July 2, 2011 by JokesLab

Q: Why does a blonde nurse carry around a red pen? A: To draw blood.

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Blondes and Buses

Posted on July 2, 2011 by JokesLab

Q: What happened when a blonde missed the Q44 bus? A: She took the Q22 twice.

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Captured blonde

Posted on July 2, 2011 by JokesLab

A blonde woman and a red-headed woman are taken hostage by terrorists. The women are taken to a remote island and put before a firing squad. But first, the terrorists ask the red-headed woman if she has any last words. The red-head points and says, “Twister!” The terrorists ran in ...

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Drowning lawyer

Posted on July 2, 2011 by JokesLab

Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? A: Shoot him before he hits the water.

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Vending machine and blonde

Posted on July 2, 2011 by JokesLab

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a vending machine? A: Nothing.....you get what you paid for.

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Blonde robbery

Posted on July 2, 2011 by JokesLab

A blonde walked up to a man and said, “Give me your wallet.” The man said, “Okay, but give me the gun.”The blonde gave him the gun and the man gave his wallet. The man used the gun to steal his wallet back.The blonde said, “You're an idiot -- there's no bullets in the ...

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Drowning blonde

Posted on July 2, 2011 by JokesLab

A blonde, a brunette, and a man are driving in their pick-up truck. The brunette was sitting up front with the man and the blonde was in the back. While driving across a bridge the man lost control of the truck and drove over the side of the bridge. After ...

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Blonde and personal license plates

Posted on July 2, 2011 by JokesLab

A blonde wanted to buy personalized license plates but she couldn't afford them. So she changed her name to JKM345.

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Blonde detectives

Posted on July 2, 2011 by JokesLab

Three blondes were witnesses to a crime, so they went to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief said he would show them a mug shot of someone for thirty seconds, then ask each one for a description. After showing the photo to the first blonde, he covered it, ...

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Brunette, blonde and railroad tracks

Posted on July 2, 2011 by JokesLab

A brunette was jumping along railroad tracks, saying, “21, 21, 21.” A blonde comes along and starts doing the same thing. They hear a train and the brunette jumps off, but the blonde keeps jumping. The blonde gets hit and dies. After the train leaves, the brunette jumps back on saying this time, ...

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Blonde in an elevator

Posted on July 2, 2011 by JokesLab

A tall blonde and a tall brunette are standing in an elevator. A short bald man with lots of dandruff walks in, then gets off at the next floor. The brunette says, “Boy he could use some head and shoulders.” The blonde says, “Hm. How do you give shoulders?”

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Advice from a blonde mother

Posted on July 2, 2011 by JokesLab

What did the blonde mother say to the blonde daughter? "If you're not in bed by 12, you should come home!"

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Who killed Abraham Lincoln?

Posted on July 2, 2011 by JokesLab

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions.... Officer: What's 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm... 4! Officer: What's the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm... 10! Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm... I dunno. Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come ...

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Thanksgiving fart

Posted on July 1, 2011 by JokesLab

Bob and Martha have been married for 15 years. Every morning for 15 years, Bob wakes up, farts loudly, rolls over onto his back and gets up for work. Every morning for 15 years, Martha says, "One of these days, you're gonna fart your guts out!" One Thanksgiving morning, Martha is preparing the turkey and gets an ...

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Liar

Posted on July 1, 2011 by JokesLab

The manager of a small business and his secretary decided to go over to her place for some "gymnastics". Afterwards, they both fall asleep When the manager wakes up and looks at his watch, he discovers that it is after 8 o'clock in the evening. He jumps up in a panic wondering what he's going to say ...

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Deeds vs. words

Posted on June 30, 2011 by JokesLab

There was a long line of souls before the gate of Heaven and Hell. Waiting on line beside each other were two residents of New York City, a taxi driver and a priest and they started chatting to kill the time. Finally, it was the taxi driver's turn to be judged; after talking with God ...

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Skeleton crossing the road

Posted on June 30, 2011 by JokesLab

Why'd the skeleton cross the road? To go to the body shop.

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How to be obnoxious in classroom?

Posted on June 29, 2011 by JokesLab

1) In the middle of class, run to the middle of the room screaming, ''I'm on fire!'' Roll around vigorously. 2) Get up to sharpen your pencil as much as possible. 3) Ask your teacher how good their spouse was last night. 4) Talk in a strong English accent. 5) Walk into class halfway through, saying, ''Aren't you ...

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How to sell a Bible

Posted on June 29, 2011 by JokesLab

Three little boys were looking for a summer job. Their preacher needed some people to go around and sell bibles. So the preacher hired two boys without even thinking twice. But he was hesitant about hiring the third boy because he suffered from a speech impediment. So after the first days of work ...

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I farted and my neighbor’s house blew up

Posted on June 29, 2011 by JokesLab

Three men were flying in a plane, when they decided to drop stuff on the town they were flying over. One dropped a book, one dropped a brick, and one dropped a bomb, just for fun. They then landed, to survey the damage they caused. The first thing they saw was a small child, crying and ...

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