Author Archives: JokesLab

Long sermon

A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle of his message. The man returned just before the conclusion of the service. Afterward the pastor asked the man where he had gone. … Continue reading

Posted in Church and God Jokes, People Jokes | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Torpedos

There was this woman who wanted bigger boobs. So she prayed to God and prayed and prayed, and eventually she got an answer — God told her that every time someone said ”pardon me” to her, her boobs would get … Continue reading

Posted in Church and God Jokes, Restaurant Jokes | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

I am not a drunk driver

A cop pulls over a car that’s been swerving across the lanes of a road. “Get out of the car, please.” “But I’m not drunk, officer!” “Listen, it doesn’t matter if you’re drunk or not. If you don’t get out … Continue reading

Posted in Car Jokes, Police Jokes | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Wrong number

It’s Saturday morning and Bob’s just about to set off on a round of golf when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So Bob … Continue reading

Posted in Family Jokes, Kids Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Why do you need only two pallbearers at a lawyer’s funeral?

Why do you need only two pallbearers at a lawyer’s funeral? There are only two handles on a garbage can.

Posted in Lawyer Jokes, Short Q & A | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Blonde and pizza

A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. She responded, ”Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.”

Posted in Blonde Jokes, Restaurant Jokes | Tagged , | Leave a comment

How to fix a dent

A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop. The repairman, noticing that the woman was a blonde, decided to have a wee bit of fun. So he told her that all she … Continue reading

Posted in Blonde Jokes, Car Jokes | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Blonde in pain

There was a blonde who was hurting all over so she went to the doctor. The doctor said, ”Where are you hurting?” She said, ”Everywhere. See?” She touched her arm and said, “OUCH!” She touched her leg and, “OUCH!” She … Continue reading

Posted in Blonde Jokes, Hospital Jokes | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Blonde’s helicopter lessons

One day, a blonde went to go get lessons on how to fly a plane. The guy at the airport said there were no more plane flying lessons this year but she could take helicopter lessons. The blonde agreed and … Continue reading

Posted in Blonde Jokes, Campus Jokes, People Jokes | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Ouch!

A blonde’s redhead decides to show her a neat way to trick people — you put your hand on a wall and ask someone to punch it. But before they do, you pull your hand away! “That is a neat … Continue reading

Posted in Blonde Jokes | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Blonde vs. ratings system

Q: What happened when the blonde went to the movie theater? A: She saw the “NC-17: Under 17 not admitted” sign, so she went home and got 16 friends.

Posted in Blonde Jokes, Short Q & A | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Blonde on blonde jokes again

A man asked a blonde what she thought about blonde jokes. She replied, ”I think they are good but they might be offensive to some Mexicans.”

Posted in Blonde Jokes, Country Jokes, Short Q & A | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Blonde camping

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead go camping for the weekend. The brunette brings food so they can eat, the red head brings water so they can drink and the blonde brings a car door, so if she gets … Continue reading

Posted in Blonde Jokes, Car Jokes | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Open season on lawyers!

WASHINGTON STATE ATTORNEY SEASON AND BAG LIMITS 1. Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may harvest attorneys. 2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited. 3. Killing … Continue reading

Posted in American Jokes, Lawyer Jokes | Tagged , | Leave a comment

The Lawyer’s Funeral

A man is at his lawyer’s funeral and and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. “Why are you all at this man’s funeral?” A man turns towards him and says, … Continue reading

Posted in Lawyer Jokes, Short Q & A | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Lawyer partner

A lawyer lies dying, his partner of 40 years by his bedside. “Jack, I’ve got to confess. I’ve been sleeping with your wife for 30 years and I’m the father of your daughter, Hillary. On top of that, I’ve been … Continue reading

Posted in Lawyer Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

A lawyer and a politician

What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician? Chelsea Clinton.

Posted in Politician Jokes, Short Q & A | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Blonde painting

A road construction manager needed to hire someone to paint the yellow lines down the middle of a newly constructed road. A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all get hired. They are each assigned a section of the road. … Continue reading

Posted in Blonde Jokes, Office Jokes, Redneck Jokes | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Blonde in a snowstorm

A blonde got lost in her car in a snowstorm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. ”If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it.” Pretty soon a snow plow … Continue reading

Posted in Blonde Jokes, Car Jokes | Tagged , | Leave a comment

The blonde hostess

Why did the blonde have empty beer cans in her fridge? For people who don’t drink.

Posted in Blonde Jokes, Family Jokes, Short Q & A | Tagged , , | Leave a comment