Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere. Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group.
- Republicans consume three-fourths of all the rutabaga produced in this country. The remainder is thrown out.
- Republicans usually wear hats and always clean their paint brushes.
- Democrats give their worn-out clothes to those less fortunate. Republicans wear theirs.
- Republicans employ exterminators. Democrats step on the bugs.
- Democrats name their children after currently-popular sports figures, politicians, and entertainers. Republican children are named after their parents or grandparents, according to where the money is.
- Democrats keep trying to cut down on smoking but are not successful. Neither are Republicans.
- Republicans tend to keep their shades drawn, although there is seldom any reason why they should. Democrats ought to, but don’t.
- Republicans study the financial pages of the newspaper. Democrats put them in the bottom of the bird cage.
- Most of the stuff alongside the road has been thrown out of car windows by Democrats.
- Republicans raise dahlias, Dalmatians, and eyebrows. Democrats raise Airedales, kids, and taxes.
- Democrats eat the fish they catch. Republicans hang them on the wall.
- Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel that they’re entitled to a little fun first.
- Democrats make plans and then do something else. Republicans follow the plans their grandfathers made.
- Republicans sleep in twin beds—some even in separate rooms. That is why there are more Democrats.
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