One day I guy walks past a shop and saw a parrot. He said “I will get him to watch my wife at home”. But the parrot had no legs so it hung by its dick.
He took the parrot home and said “Watch my wife, I think she’s cheating on me.” So he left the parrot in his wife’s room.
When he came back he said to the parrot, “What happened?”. The parrot replied “Well the postman came in to give your mail, and your wife took her top off and I got a hard on and fell off.”