Hello, welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
“If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. “If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.”
“If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.”
“If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line until we can trace the call.”
“If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.”
“If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer.”
