True newspaper clippings

funny-sign-ride-the-slut

  • 1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB — $850/offer
  • AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.
  • SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE… ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
  • FREE PUPPIES…PART GERMAN SHEPHERD – PART DOG
  • 2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15
  • TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH IT’S OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800
  • COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED… ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
  • 83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK — $2000
  • STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT — $15
  • FREE PUPPIES: COCKER SPANIEL – SNEAKY NEIGHBOR’S DOG
  • FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG.
  • SOFT & GENITAL BATH TISSUES OR FACIAL TISSUE 89 cents
  • GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
  • FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 YR. WARRANTY. LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL.
  • FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BATH HOME.
  • FOR SALE: LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) – $50
  • NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED CALL CHUBBIE
  • BILL’S SEPTIC CLEANING “WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS”
  • SHAKESPEARE’S PIZZA – FREE CHOPSTICKS
  • FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT… BEEN OUT AWHILE.. BETTER BE REWARD.
  • HUMMELS – LARGEST SELECTION EVER “IF IT’S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!”
  • GET A LITTLE JOHN: THE TRAVELING URINAL HOLDS 2 BOTTLES OF BEER.
  • HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB
  • GEORGIA PEACHES – CALIFORNIA GROWN – 89 cents lb.
  • NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED – USED ONCE SLIGHTLY STAINED
  • FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT.
  • AMERICAN FLAG 60 STARS – POLE INCLUDED $100
  • TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 – $9 PER HOUR.
  • NOTICE: TO THE PERSON OR PERSONS WHO TOOK THE LARGE PUMPKIN ON HIGHWAY 87 NEAR SOUTHRIDGE STORAGE: PLEASE RETURN THE PUMPKIN AND BE CHECKED. PUMPKIN MAY BE RADIOACTIVE. ALL OTHER PLANTS IN VICINITY ARE DEAD.
  • EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS – $175.
  • OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB AND IT’S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER.
  • JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.
  • LAWYER SAYS CLIENT IS NOT THAT GUILTY.
  • ALZHEIMER’S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER
  • GROUND BEAST: 99 cents lb.
  • GAS CLOUD CLEARS OUT TACO BELL.
  • BAR S SLICED BOLOGNA REGULAR OR TASTY SAVE 30 CENTS ON 2
  • OPEN HOUSE BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON FREE COFFEE & DONUTS
  • KELLOGG’S POT TARTS – $1.99 box
  • FULLY COOKED BONELESS SMOKED MAN – $2.09 lb.

This entry was posted in Miscellaneous Jokes, Office Jokes, Top 10 List and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to True newspaper clippings

  1. Daniel Nino says:

    maksih

Leave a Reply