*Stand on top of the high board and say you won’t come down until your demands are met.
*Tell the lifeguards that they aren’t doing their jobs because you have seen at least 15 people drown today.
*Ask people if they have seen your pet shark.
*Sit in the baby pool and play with the toys.
*Take a flutter board and pretend you can’t swim.
*Hit strangers with your flutter board.
*Ask an attractive lifeguard to practise CPR on you.
*Sit in front of a water jet, make moaning sounds and say, ”Oh yeah… oooh that feels soooo good….”
*Sit on the top of the water slide and don’t move.
*Swim near a stranger and go ”Dammit I knew I shouldn’t have had watermelon before I came here.”
*Insist that you saw a monster at the bottom of the pool.
*Pretend to drown and then when someone tries to help you, say ”HA-HA, fooled you!”
*Scream as someone is trying to do something when jumping off of a diving board.
*Laugh at fat people in swimsuits.
*Tell people you saw the lifeguard pissing in the pool.
*Ask a lifeguard if skinny-dipping is allowed.
*Try to negotiate the price of getting in.
*Take a really long time when you are on top of the high dive and then act as though you were pushed off.
*When in line, ask strangers if they think invisble people get a discount.
*Take your towel, tie it around your shoulders and say ”Wheee! I’m Batman!” while running around.
*Hit strangers with your wet towel.
*Throw people’s things into the pool.
*Sing and dance on top of the dinving board, then do a belly-flop as your grande-finale. *Play Marco-Polo by yourself.
*Ask small children if they have seen any suspicious-looking sea monsters lately.
