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1 February, by Editor
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1 February, by Editor
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1 February, by Editor
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1 February, by Editor
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1 February, by Editor
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1 February, by Editor
A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it.
"Not Gutenberg?" Gasped the collector.
"Yes, that was it!"
"You did it! You’ve thrown away one of the first books ever printed. A copy recently sold at an auction for half a million dollars!"
"Oh, I don’t think this book would have been worth anything close to that much," replied the man. (...)
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1 February, by Editor
One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because “the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury.”
But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm.”
Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses’ followers are warned not to go up a mountain “until the Ram’s horn sounds a long blast.”
Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a (...)
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1 February, by Editor
"In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off."
"Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree."
"Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark."
"Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears."
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1 February, by Editor
Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God’s omnipotence did not extend to God’s kids.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was: "Don’t."
"Don’t what?" Adam asked.
"Don’t eat the Forbidden Fruit." God replied.
"Forbidden fruit? We got Forbidden Fruit?
Hey, Eve..we got Forbidden Fruit!"
"No way!"
"Where?"
"Don’t eat that fruit!" said God.
"Why?"
"Because I am your Creator and I said so!" (...)
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1 February, by Editor
At a concert hall one night, the stage manager comes across an oboe player and a viola player having a fight.
He breaks the fight up and asks what the fight was about.
The oboe player says, "He broke my reed! I was just about to play my big solo when he broke my reed!"
"Well?" says the stage manager to the viola player. "What do you say to that?"
In umbrage, the viola player replies, "He undid two of my strings but he won’t tell me which (...)