{"id":656,"date":"2011-07-06T06:56:47","date_gmt":"2011-07-06T06:56:47","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2011-07-06T06:56:47","modified_gmt":"2011-07-06T06:56:47","slug":"material-data-sheet-of-woman","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/656\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/material-data-sheet-of-woman\/","title":{"rendered":"Material data sheet of woman"},"content":{"rendered":"

Element: Woman
\nSymbol: Wo
\nDiscoverer: Adam
\nAtomic Mass: Accepted as 118lbs., known to vary from 110 to 550lbs.
\nOccurrence: Copious quantities throughout the world.
\nPhysical properties:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Surface usually covered with a painted field and a variety of esthers.<\/li>\n
  2. Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.<\/li>\n
  3. Melts when given special treatment.<\/li>\n
  4. Bitter if incorrectly used.<\/li>\n
  5. Found in states varying from virgin metal to common ore.<\/li>\n
  6. Yields to pressure applied at correct points.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Chemical properties:<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Has a genuine affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones.<\/li>\n
    2. Absorbs great quantities of attention.<\/li>\n
    3. VOLATILE: May explode without warning for no apparent reason.<\/li>\n
    4. Insoluble in water, but activity greatly increased with alcohol.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Most common uses:<\/p>\n

        \n
      1. Primarily ornamental, especially in sports cars.<\/li>\n
      2. Found to be a great aid to relaxation.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        Tests:<\/p>\n

          \n
        1. Pure specimen turns rosey pink when discovered in its natural state.<\/li>\n
        2. Turns green when placed next to a fresher specimen.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          Hazards:<\/p>\n

            \n
          1. Hard to retain when left in inexperienced hands.<\/li>\n
          2. Illegal (not to mention deadly) to possess more than one at a time.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\"\"<\/a>

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