{"id":653,"date":"2012-01-08T12:01:49","date_gmt":"2012-01-08T12:01:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/653\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/best-excuse-for-speeding\/"},"modified":"2012-01-02T04:44:07","modified_gmt":"2012-01-02T04:44:07","slug":"best-excuse-for-speeding","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/653\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/best-excuse-for-speeding\/","title":{"rendered":"Best excuse for speeding"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an interstate road for a nice evening drive.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-6477\" title=\"dude-you-will-get-three-mother-in-laws\" src=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/dude-you-will-get-three-mother-in-laws.jpg\" alt=\"dude-you-will-get-three-mother-in-laws\" width=\"475\" height=\"357\" srcset=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/dude-you-will-get-three-mother-in-laws.jpg 475w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/dude-you-will-get-three-mother-in-laws-150x112.jpg 150w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/dude-you-will-get-three-mother-in-laws-400x300.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 475px) 100vw, 475px\" \/>The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80mph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him. &#8221;They&#8217;ll never catch me,&#8221; he thought to himself and opened her up further.<\/p>\n<p>The needle hit 90, 100 110 and finally 120 with the lights still behind him.  &#8221;What in hell am I doing?&#8221; he thought and pulled over.<\/p>\n<p>The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. &#8221;I&#8217;ve had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I don&#8217;t feel like more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven&#8217;t heard before you can go!&#8221; he said.<\/p>\n<p>&#8221;Last week my wife ran off with a cop,&#8221; the man said, &#8221;and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8221;Have a nice night,&#8221; said the officer.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/653\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/best-excuse-for-speeding\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" src=\"\" class=\"alignleft wp-post-image tfe\" alt=\"\" title=\"\" \/><\/a><p>A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an interstate road for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/653\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/best-excuse-for-speeding\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[213,227,21],"tags":[62,226,53,215,7,214,54],"class_list":["post-653","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-car-jokes","category-police-jokes","category-relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes","tag-car","tag-driving","tag-husband","tag-mercedes","tag-police","tag-speeding","tag-wife"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Best excuse for speeding -Car Jokes, Police Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/653\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/best-excuse-for-speeding\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Best excuse for speeding -Car Jokes, Police Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an interstate road for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up. 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