{"id":63,"date":"2013-12-21T11:45:28","date_gmt":"2013-12-21T11:45:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/63\/country-jokes\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\/"},"modified":"2013-12-21T08:16:21","modified_gmt":"2013-12-21T08:16:21","slug":"santa-claus-and-bubba-claus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/63\/country-jokes\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\/","title":{"rendered":"Santa Claus and Bubba Claus"},"content":{"rendered":"

A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated.<\/p>\n

Please read the following carefully.<\/p>\n

I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. I now serve only certain areas of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin and Michigan. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies.<\/p>\n

\"funny-shopping-bag-watermelon\"However, I’m certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us…<\/p>\n

1. There is no danger of a Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and bumper sticker that reads:<\/p>\n

“These toys insured by Smith and Wesson.”<\/p>\n

2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn’t smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy.<\/p>\n

3. Bubba Claus’ sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin’ coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen’s head now overlooks Bubba’s fireplace.<\/p>\n

4. You won’t hear “On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen …” when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you’ll hear, “On Earnhardt, on Wallace, on Martin and Labonte On Rudd, on Jarrett, on Elliott and Petty.”<\/p>\n

5. “Ho, ho, ho!” has been replaced by “Yee Haw!” And you also are likely to hear Bubba’s elves respond, “I her’d dat!”<\/p>\n

6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus’ sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words “Back Off!” The last I heard it also had other decorations on the sleigh back as well. One is Ford or Chevy logo with lights that race through the letters and the other is a caricature of me (Santa Claus) going wee on the Tooth Fairy.<\/p>\n

7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as “Miracle on 34th Street” and “It’s a Wonderful Life” will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you’ll see “Boss Hogg Saves Christmas” and “Smokey and the Bandit IV” featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other.<\/p>\n

8. Bubba Claus doesn’t wear a belt. If I were you, I’d make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.<\/p>\n

9. And finally, lovely Christmas songs have been sung about me like “Rudolph The Red-nosed Reindeer” and Bing Crosby’s “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.” This year songs about Bubba Claus will be played on all the AM radio stations in the South. Those song titles will be:<\/p>\n

Mark Chesnutt’s “Bubba Claus Shot the Jukebox,” Cledus T. Judd’s “All I Want for Christmas Is My Woman and a Six Pack,” and Hank Williams Jr.’s “If You Don’t Like Bubba Claus, You Can Shove It.”<\/p>\n

Sincerely Yours,<\/p>\n

Santa Claus North American Fairies and Elves Local 209<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\"\"<\/a>

A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated. Please read the following carefully. I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[195,22],"tags":[785,6,607,5],"class_list":["post-63","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-christmas-jokes","category-country-jokes","tag-america","tag-christmas","tag-letter","tag-santa"],"yoast_head":"\nSanta Claus and Bubba Claus -Christmas Jokes, Country Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/63\/country-jokes\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Santa Claus and Bubba Claus -Christmas Jokes, Country Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated. Please read the following carefully. I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming … Continue reading →\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/63\/country-jokes\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-12-21T11:45:28+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-shopping-bag-watermelon-400x386.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"JokesLab\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"JokesLab\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/63\\\/country-jokes\\\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/63\\\/country-jokes\\\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"JokesLab\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34\"},\"headline\":\"Santa Claus and Bubba Claus\",\"datePublished\":\"2013-12-21T11:45:28+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/63\\\/country-jokes\\\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":579,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/63\\\/country-jokes\\\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2011\\\/06\\\/funny-shopping-bag-watermelon-400x386.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"America\",\"Christmas\",\"letter\",\"Santa\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Christmas Jokes\",\"Country Jokes\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/63\\\/country-jokes\\\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/63\\\/country-jokes\\\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/63\\\/country-jokes\\\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\\\/\",\"name\":\"Santa Claus and Bubba Claus -Christmas Jokes, Country Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/63\\\/country-jokes\\\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/63\\\/country-jokes\\\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2011\\\/06\\\/funny-shopping-bag-watermelon-400x386.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2013-12-21T11:45:28+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/63\\\/country-jokes\\\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/63\\\/country-jokes\\\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/63\\\/country-jokes\\\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2011\\\/06\\\/funny-shopping-bag-watermelon-400x386.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2011\\\/06\\\/funny-shopping-bag-watermelon-400x386.jpg\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/63\\\/country-jokes\\\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Santa Claus and Bubba Claus\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/\",\"name\":\"JokesLab Funniest Jokes\",\"description\":\"the best collection of clean jokes\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34\",\"name\":\"JokesLab\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/1ddeb11c3ee03f5ac75289908398f7c36b4cb3b51cf8fc4561a798c09b6c5574?s=96&d=monsterid&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/1ddeb11c3ee03f5ac75289908398f7c36b4cb3b51cf8fc4561a798c09b6c5574?s=96&d=monsterid&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/1ddeb11c3ee03f5ac75289908398f7c36b4cb3b51cf8fc4561a798c09b6c5574?s=96&d=monsterid&r=g\",\"caption\":\"JokesLab\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/author\\\/adminblog\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Santa Claus and Bubba Claus -Christmas Jokes, Country Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/63\/country-jokes\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Santa Claus and Bubba Claus -Christmas Jokes, Country Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes","og_description":"A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated. Please read the following carefully. I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming … Continue reading →","og_url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/63\/country-jokes\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\/","og_site_name":"JokesLab Funniest Jokes","article_published_time":"2013-12-21T11:45:28+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-shopping-bag-watermelon-400x386.jpg","type":"","width":"","height":""}],"author":"JokesLab","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"JokesLab","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/63\/country-jokes\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/63\/country-jokes\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\/"},"author":{"name":"JokesLab","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/#\/schema\/person\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34"},"headline":"Santa Claus and Bubba Claus","datePublished":"2013-12-21T11:45:28+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/63\/country-jokes\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\/"},"wordCount":579,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/63\/country-jokes\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-shopping-bag-watermelon-400x386.jpg","keywords":["America","Christmas","letter","Santa"],"articleSection":["Christmas Jokes","Country Jokes"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/63\/country-jokes\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/63\/country-jokes\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\/","url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/63\/country-jokes\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\/","name":"Santa Claus and Bubba Claus -Christmas Jokes, Country Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/63\/country-jokes\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/63\/country-jokes\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-shopping-bag-watermelon-400x386.jpg","datePublished":"2013-12-21T11:45:28+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/#\/schema\/person\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/63\/country-jokes\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/63\/country-jokes\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/63\/country-jokes\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\/#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-shopping-bag-watermelon-400x386.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-shopping-bag-watermelon-400x386.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/63\/country-jokes\/santa-claus-and-bubba-claus\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Santa Claus and Bubba Claus"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/#website","url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/","name":"JokesLab Funniest Jokes","description":"the best collection of clean jokes","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/#\/schema\/person\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34","name":"JokesLab","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1ddeb11c3ee03f5ac75289908398f7c36b4cb3b51cf8fc4561a798c09b6c5574?s=96&d=monsterid&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1ddeb11c3ee03f5ac75289908398f7c36b4cb3b51cf8fc4561a798c09b6c5574?s=96&d=monsterid&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1ddeb11c3ee03f5ac75289908398f7c36b4cb3b51cf8fc4561a798c09b6c5574?s=96&d=monsterid&r=g","caption":"JokesLab"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/jokeslab.com"],"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/author\/adminblog\/"}]}},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":490,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/490\/lawyer-jokes\/santa-tooth-fairy-drunk-and-lawyer\/","url_meta":{"origin":63,"position":0},"title":"Santa, tooth fairy, drunk, and lawyer","author":"JokesLab","date":"March 4, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Q: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A: The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythical creatures.","rel":"","context":"In "Lawyer Jokes"","block_context":{"text":"Lawyer Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/lawyer-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"funny-headstone-stupid-and-with-stupid","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-headstone-stupid-and-with-stupid.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-headstone-stupid-and-with-stupid.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-headstone-stupid-and-with-stupid.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":698,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/698\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/the-perfect-wife\/","url_meta":{"origin":63,"position":1},"title":"The perfect wife","author":"JokesLab","date":"July 24, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"What is the perfect wife? A good-looking, sex-craved, chef who owns a liquor store.","rel":"","context":"In "Family Jokes"","block_context":{"text":"Family Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/family-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"female-santa-claus","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/female-santa-claus.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/female-santa-claus.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/female-santa-claus.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1388,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1388\/animal-jokes\/thank-the-lord\/","url_meta":{"origin":63,"position":2},"title":"Thank the lord!","author":"JokesLab","date":"December 24, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"There was a guy in the middle of the desert and his car broke down. He started walking and he came to a monastery, where he asked them if he could borrow a mule. The monks lent him one, and they explained that you had to say \u201cThank the Lord!\u201d\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Animal Jokes"","block_context":{"text":"Animal Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/animal-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"female-santa-claus","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/female-santa-claus-400x600.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1334,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1334\/people-jokes\/wishes\/","url_meta":{"origin":63,"position":3},"title":"Wishes","author":"JokesLab","date":"December 25, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Three friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all asked,\"When you are in your casket and your friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you?\" The first guy says,\"Iwould like to hear them\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Car Jokes"","block_context":{"text":"Car Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/car-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"sexy-santa-claus-gifts-on-butts","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/sexy-santa-claus-gifts-on-butts.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/sexy-santa-claus-gifts-on-butts.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/sexy-santa-claus-gifts-on-butts.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1788,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1788\/people-jokes\/old-macdonald-had-a\/","url_meta":{"origin":63,"position":4},"title":"Old MacDonald had a","author":"JokesLab","date":"May 8, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Two college basketball players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week. The exam was a fill-in-the-blank. The last question read, \"Old MacDonald had a ________.\" Bubba was stumped. He had\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Campus Jokes"","block_context":{"text":"Campus Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/campus-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"roosters-playing-soccer","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/roosters-playing-soccer-400x288.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1873,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1873\/computer-jokes\/a-sign-of-the-times\/","url_meta":{"origin":63,"position":5},"title":"A sign of the times","author":"JokesLab","date":"August 17, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"As a little girl climbed onto Santa\u2019s lap, Santa asked the usual, \"And what would you like for Christmas?\" The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: \"Didn\u2019t you get my E-mail?\" \u00a0","rel":"","context":"In "Christmas Jokes"","block_context":{"text":"Christmas Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/holiday-jokes\/christmas-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"finally signoff icq in the grave","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/f4-offline-finally-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/63","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=63"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/63\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=63"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=63"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=63"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}