{"id":613,"date":"2013-07-12T01:54:54","date_gmt":"2013-07-12T01:54:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/613\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/the-eve-of-creation\/"},"modified":"2013-07-07T12:54:45","modified_gmt":"2013-07-07T12:54:45","slug":"the-eve-of-creation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/613\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/the-eve-of-creation\/","title":{"rendered":"The eve of creation"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"checking-boobs\"One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, “Lord, I have a problem!”<\/p>\n

“What’s the problem, Eve?” God asks her.<\/p>\n

“Lord,” she says, “I know you’ve created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I’m just not happy.”<\/p>\n

“Why is that, Eve?” came the reply from above.<\/p>\n

“Lord, I am lonely. And I’m sick to death of apples,” she says.<\/p>\n

“Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you,” the good Lord tells her.<\/p>\n

“What’s a ‘man’, Lord?” she inquires.<\/p>\n

“This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly. All in all, he’ll give you a hard time. But, he’ll be bigger and faster and more muscular than you. He’ll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about and hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not altogether bad in the sack.”<\/p>\n

“Sounds great,” says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.<\/p>\n

“Yeah, well. He’s better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick. But, you can have him on one condition.”<\/p>\n

“What’s that, Lord?” she asks.<\/p>\n

“You’ll have to let him believe that I made him first.<\/strong>“<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\"\"<\/a>

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, “Lord, I have a problem!” “What’s the problem, Eve?” God asks her. “Lord,” she says, “I know you’ve created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[201,21],"tags":[647,35,34],"class_list":["post-613","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-church-jokes","category-relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes","tag-eve","tag-god","tag-man"],"yoast_head":"\nThe eve of creation -Church and God Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes - 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Katie is sleeping and the teacher asks her a question. \"Katie, who created Heaven and Earth?\" Joey sees Katie sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil. \"Jesus Christ almighty! !\" Exclaimed Katie. \"Correct.\" Says the teacher. So the next day the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Campus Jokes"","block_context":{"text":"Campus Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/campus-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"funny-hat-for-girl","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/funny-hat-for-girl-400x600.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1916,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1916\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/adam-and-eve-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":613,"position":5},"title":"Adam and Eve","author":"JokesLab","date":"September 24, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. \"You\u2019re running around with other women,\" she told her mate. \"Eve, honey, you\u2019re being unreasonable,\" Adam responded. \"You know you\u2019re the only woman on earth.\" The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Church and God Jokes"","block_context":{"text":"Church and God Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/church-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"save-a-virgin-do-me-instead","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/save-a-virgin-do-me-instead.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/613","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=613"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/613\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=613"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=613"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=613"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}