{"id":600,"date":"2013-08-09T10:07:09","date_gmt":"2013-08-09T10:07:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/600\/hospital-jokes\/doctors-orders\/"},"modified":"2013-08-04T02:24:45","modified_gmt":"2013-08-04T02:24:45","slug":"doctors-orders","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/600\/hospital-jokes\/doctors-orders\/","title":{"rendered":"Doctor’s orders"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"funny-woman-on-beach\"A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office.<\/p>\n

After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die.”<\/p>\n

“Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast.\u00a0 Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal.\u00a0 For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.\u00a0 Don’t burden him with chores.\u00a0 Don’t discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. \u00a0 No nagging.\u00a0 And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week.\u00a0 If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely.”<\/p>\n

On the way home, the husband asked his wife.\u00a0 “What did the doctor say?”<\/p>\n

\u201cHe said you’re going to die.<\/strong>”\u00a0 she replied.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\"\"<\/a>

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don’t do the following, your … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[222,13,247],"tags":[429,82,428,53,430,154],"class_list":["post-600","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-jokes","category-hospital-jokes","category-texas-jokes","tag-breakfast","tag-dinner","tag-doctore","tag-husband","tag-lunch","tag-sex"],"yoast_head":"\nDoctor's orders -Family Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Texas Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/600\/hospital-jokes\/doctors-orders\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Doctor's orders -Family Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Texas Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. 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