{"id":599,"date":"2012-06-19T14:05:25","date_gmt":"2012-06-19T14:05:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/599\/office-jokes\/what-i-want-in-a-man\/"},"modified":"2012-06-17T03:03:12","modified_gmt":"2012-06-17T03:03:12","slug":"what-i-want-in-a-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/599\/office-jokes\/what-i-want-in-a-man\/","title":{"rendered":"What I want in a man"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"old-man-and-juicy-boobs\"<\/a>Original List (age 22):
\n1. Handsome
\n2. Charming
\n3. Financially successful
\n4. A caring listener
\n5. Witty
\n6. In good shape
\n7. Dresses with style
\n8. Appreciates finer things
\n9. Full of thoughtful surprises
\n10. An imaginative, romantic lover.<\/p>\n

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32):
\n1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
\n2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
\n3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
\n4. Listens more than talks
\n5. Laughs at my jokes
\n6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
\n7. Owns at least one tie
\n8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
\n9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
\n10. Seeks romance at least once a week.<\/p>\n

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42):
\n1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)
\n2. Doesn’t drive off until I’m in the car
\n3. Works steady — splurges on dinner out occasionally
\n4. Nods head when I’m talking
\n5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
\n6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
\n7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
\n8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
\n9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
\n10. Shaves most weekends.<\/p>\n

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52):
\n1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
\n2. Doesn’t belch or scratch in public
\n3. Doesn’t borrow money too often
\n4. Doesn’t nod off to sleep when I’m venting
\n5. Doesn’t re-tell the same joke too many times
\n6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
\n7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
\n8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
\n9. Remembers my name on occasion
\n10. Shaves some weekends.<\/p>\n

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62):
\n1. Doesn’t scare small children
\n2. Remembers where bathroom is
\n3. Doesn’t require much money for upkeep
\n4. Only snores lightly when asleep
\n5. Remembers why he’s laughing
\n6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
\n7. Usually wears clothes
\n8. Likes soft foods
\n9. Remembers where he left his teeth
\n10. Remembers that it’s the weekend.<\/p>\n

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72):
\n1. Breathing
\n2. Doesn’t miss the toilet<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\"\"<\/a>

Original List (age 22): 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises 10. An imaginative, romantic lover. What … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[222,18,21,20],"tags":[34,427,154,188,102,1205,33],"class_list":["post-599","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-jokes","category-office-jokes","category-relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes","category-top-10-list","tag-man","tag-romance","tag-sex","tag-toilet","tag-wish","tag-wish-list","tag-woman"],"yoast_head":"\nWhat I want in a man -Family Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/599\/office-jokes\/what-i-want-in-a-man\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What I want in a man -Family Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Original List (age 22): 1. 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When you want to be alone, they want to play.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Animal Jokes"","block_context":{"text":"Animal Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/animal-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Top 10 reasons why cats are small women in fur coat","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/real-cat-not-caterpillar.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/real-cat-not-caterpillar.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/real-cat-not-caterpillar.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1717,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1717\/sports-jokes\/top-ten-things-that-sound-dirty-in-golf-but-arent\/","url_meta":{"origin":599,"position":5},"title":"TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN GOLF BUT AREN’T","author":"JokesLab","date":"September 17, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"10. Nuts...my shaft is bent. 9. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. 7. Look at the size of his putter. 6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more. 5. Mind if I join your threesome?\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes"","block_context":{"text":"Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"bikini-girl-on-beach","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/bikini-girl-on-beach.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/599","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=599"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/599\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=599"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=599"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=599"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}