{"id":597,"date":"2012-05-25T16:03:46","date_gmt":"2012-05-25T16:03:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/597\/people-jokes\/if-men-ruled-the-world\/"},"modified":"2012-05-07T04:39:02","modified_gmt":"2012-05-07T04:39:02","slug":"if-men-ruled-the-world","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/597\/people-jokes\/if-men-ruled-the-world\/","title":{"rendered":"If men ruled the world"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"so-many-cctvs\"Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.<\/p>\n

Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.”<\/p>\n

Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again?” cards.<\/p>\n

If your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she’d appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.<\/p>\n

Breaking up would be a lot easier.\u00a0 A smack to the ass and a “Nice hustle, you’ll get ’em next time” would pretty much do it.<\/p>\n

Birth control would come in ale or lager.<\/p>\n

You’d be expected to fill your resume with gag names of people you’d worked for, like “Heywood J’Blowme.”<\/p>\n

Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of your choice.<\/p>\n

The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.<\/p>\n

“Sorry I’m late, but I got really wasted last night” would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.<\/p>\n

At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you’d jump out your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.<\/p>\n

It’d be considered harmless fun to gather 30 friends, put on horned helmets, and go pillage a nearby town.<\/p>\n

Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the “public ugliness” ordinance.<\/p>\n

Tanks would be far easier to rent.<\/p>\n

Garbage would take itself out.<\/p>\n

Instead of beer belly, you’d get “beer biceps.”<\/p>\n

Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said “You’re #1!”<\/p>\n

Valentine’s Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.<\/p>\n

On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you’d get the day off to go drinking. Mother’s Day, too.<\/p>\n

St. Patrick’s Day, however, would remain exactly the same.<\/p>\n

But it would be celebrated every month.<\/p>\n

Cops would be broadcast live, and you could phone in advice to the pursuing cops. Or to the crooks.<\/p>\n

Two words: Ally McNaked.<\/p>\n

Regis and Kathie Lee would be chained to a cement mixer and pushed off the Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative pay-per-view event in world history.<\/p>\n

The victors in any athletic competition would get to kill and eat the losers.<\/p>\n

The only show opposite Monday Night Football would be Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle.<\/p>\n

It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.<\/p>\n

Every man would get four real Get Out of Jail Free cards per year.<\/p>\n

When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine.<\/p>\n

As in: Cop: “You know how fast you were going?”
\nYou: “All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place.”
\nCop: “Nice one. That’s $10 off.”<\/p>\n

Faucets would run “Hot,” “Cold,” and “100 proof.”<\/p>\n

The Statue of Liberty would get a bright red, 40-foot thong.<\/p>\n

People would never talk about how fresh they felt.<\/p>\n

Daisy Duke shorts would never again go out of style.<\/p>\n

Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\"\"<\/a>

Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[222,18,3,21,442],"tags":[134,426,425,423,34,1184,424,549,443],"class_list":["post-597","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-jokes","category-office-jokes","category-people-jokes","category-relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes","category-valentines-day-jokes","tag-beer","tag-game","tag-girl","tag-girl-friend","tag-man","tag-resume","tag-rule","tag-telephone","tag-valentines-day"],"yoast_head":"\nIf men ruled the world -Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Valentine's Day Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/597\/people-jokes\/if-men-ruled-the-world\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"If men ruled the world -Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Valentine's Day Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your … Continue reading →\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/597\/people-jokes\/if-men-ruled-the-world\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-05-25T16:03:46+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/so-many-cctvs-400x600.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"JokesLab\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"JokesLab\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/597\\\/people-jokes\\\/if-men-ruled-the-world\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/597\\\/people-jokes\\\/if-men-ruled-the-world\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"JokesLab\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34\"},\"headline\":\"If men ruled the world\",\"datePublished\":\"2012-05-25T16:03:46+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/597\\\/people-jokes\\\/if-men-ruled-the-world\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":552,\"commentCount\":1,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/597\\\/people-jokes\\\/if-men-ruled-the-world\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2011\\\/06\\\/so-many-cctvs-400x600.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"beer\",\"game\",\"girl\",\"girl friend\",\"man\",\"resume\",\"rule\",\"telephone\",\"Valentine's day\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Family Jokes\",\"Office Jokes\",\"People Jokes\",\"Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes\",\"Valentine's Day Jokes\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/597\\\/people-jokes\\\/if-men-ruled-the-world\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/597\\\/people-jokes\\\/if-men-ruled-the-world\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/597\\\/people-jokes\\\/if-men-ruled-the-world\\\/\",\"name\":\"If men ruled the world -Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Valentine's Day Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/597\\\/people-jokes\\\/if-men-ruled-the-world\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/597\\\/people-jokes\\\/if-men-ruled-the-world\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2011\\\/06\\\/so-many-cctvs-400x600.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2012-05-25T16:03:46+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/597\\\/people-jokes\\\/if-men-ruled-the-world\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/597\\\/people-jokes\\\/if-men-ruled-the-world\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/597\\\/people-jokes\\\/if-men-ruled-the-world\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2011\\\/06\\\/so-many-cctvs-400x600.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2011\\\/06\\\/so-many-cctvs-400x600.jpg\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/597\\\/people-jokes\\\/if-men-ruled-the-world\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"If men ruled the world\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/\",\"name\":\"JokesLab Funniest Jokes\",\"description\":\"the best collection of clean jokes\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34\",\"name\":\"JokesLab\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/1ddeb11c3ee03f5ac75289908398f7c36b4cb3b51cf8fc4561a798c09b6c5574?s=96&d=monsterid&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/1ddeb11c3ee03f5ac75289908398f7c36b4cb3b51cf8fc4561a798c09b6c5574?s=96&d=monsterid&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/1ddeb11c3ee03f5ac75289908398f7c36b4cb3b51cf8fc4561a798c09b6c5574?s=96&d=monsterid&r=g\",\"caption\":\"JokesLab\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/author\\\/adminblog\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"If men ruled the world -Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Valentine's Day Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/597\/people-jokes\/if-men-ruled-the-world\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"If men ruled the world -Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Valentine's Day Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes","og_description":"Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your … Continue reading →","og_url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/597\/people-jokes\/if-men-ruled-the-world\/","og_site_name":"JokesLab Funniest Jokes","article_published_time":"2012-05-25T16:03:46+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/so-many-cctvs-400x600.jpg","type":"","width":"","height":""}],"author":"JokesLab","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"JokesLab","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/597\/people-jokes\/if-men-ruled-the-world\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/597\/people-jokes\/if-men-ruled-the-world\/"},"author":{"name":"JokesLab","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/#\/schema\/person\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34"},"headline":"If men ruled the world","datePublished":"2012-05-25T16:03:46+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/597\/people-jokes\/if-men-ruled-the-world\/"},"wordCount":552,"commentCount":1,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/597\/people-jokes\/if-men-ruled-the-world\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/so-many-cctvs-400x600.jpg","keywords":["beer","game","girl","girl friend","man","resume","rule","telephone","Valentine's day"],"articleSection":["Family Jokes","Office Jokes","People Jokes","Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes","Valentine's Day Jokes"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/597\/people-jokes\/if-men-ruled-the-world\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/597\/people-jokes\/if-men-ruled-the-world\/","url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/597\/people-jokes\/if-men-ruled-the-world\/","name":"If men ruled the world -Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Valentine's Day Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/597\/people-jokes\/if-men-ruled-the-world\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/597\/people-jokes\/if-men-ruled-the-world\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/so-many-cctvs-400x600.jpg","datePublished":"2012-05-25T16:03:46+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/#\/schema\/person\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/597\/people-jokes\/if-men-ruled-the-world\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/597\/people-jokes\/if-men-ruled-the-world\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/597\/people-jokes\/if-men-ruled-the-world\/#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/so-many-cctvs-400x600.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/so-many-cctvs-400x600.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/597\/people-jokes\/if-men-ruled-the-world\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"If men ruled the world"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/#website","url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/","name":"JokesLab Funniest Jokes","description":"the best collection of clean jokes","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/#\/schema\/person\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34","name":"JokesLab","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1ddeb11c3ee03f5ac75289908398f7c36b4cb3b51cf8fc4561a798c09b6c5574?s=96&d=monsterid&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1ddeb11c3ee03f5ac75289908398f7c36b4cb3b51cf8fc4561a798c09b6c5574?s=96&d=monsterid&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1ddeb11c3ee03f5ac75289908398f7c36b4cb3b51cf8fc4561a798c09b6c5574?s=96&d=monsterid&r=g","caption":"JokesLab"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/jokeslab.com"],"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/author\/adminblog\/"}]}},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1914,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1914\/campus-jokes\/to-my-one-and-only-love\/","url_meta":{"origin":597,"position":0},"title":"To my one and only love","author":"JokesLab","date":"September 23, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine\u2019s Day, at a very smart jeweler\u2019s shop in Hatton Garden, London. The jeweler inquired, \u2019Would you like your girlfriend\u2019s name engraved on it?\u2019 Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, \u2019No, instead\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Campus Jokes"","block_context":{"text":"Campus Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/campus-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"valentine-day-gift-condom","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/valentine-day-gift-condom.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1915,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1915\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/valentine%e2%80%99s-day-dream\/","url_meta":{"origin":597,"position":1},"title":"Valentine\u2019s day dream","author":"JokesLab","date":"September 24, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, \"I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine\u2019s day. What do you think it means?\" \"You\u2019ll know tonight.\" he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Family Jokes"","block_context":{"text":"Family Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/family-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"photo-bomb-horse-face","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/photo-bomb-horse-face.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":609,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/609\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/valentines-day-gift-for-ex-wives\/","url_meta":{"origin":597,"position":2},"title":"Valentine’s day gift for ex-wives","author":"JokesLab","date":"March 13, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"A man went to the mall this last week to buy Valentines' cards for his daughter and mother. The 50 feet of displays for hundreds of cards astounded him. He muttered out loud, \"I wonder if they have anything for ex-wives?\" The clerk behind the counter said, \"Oh, yes sir,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes"","block_context":{"text":"Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"photo-bomb-mating-animals","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/photo-bomb-mating-animals-400x298.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1919,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1919\/people-jokes\/an-experiment\/","url_meta":{"origin":597,"position":3},"title":"An experiment","author":"JokesLab","date":"September 25, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"A very shy guy goes into a pub on Valentine\u2019s Day night and sees a beautiful woman at the bar. After a long struggle with his shyness, he finally managed to walk over to her and asked her politely,\"Um, would you mind if I give you company?\" She made a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Bar Jokes"","block_context":{"text":"Bar Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/bar-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"most-wanted-valentines-day-gift","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/most-wanted-valentines-day-gift.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1917,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1917\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/just-three-words\/","url_meta":{"origin":597,"position":4},"title":"Just three words","author":"JokesLab","date":"September 25, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Phil, a smart and handsome young man, dressed in the latest fashion, walked into this local pub in a Valentine\u2019s day night. He noticed a woman gazing at him without blinking her big eyes. Phil felt flattered so he walked up to the woman and said in his deepest voice,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Bar Jokes"","block_context":{"text":"Bar Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/bar-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"funny-and-creative-bra-designs-japan","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/funny-and-creative-bra-designs-japan.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":498,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/498\/lawyer-jokes\/guess-who\/","url_meta":{"origin":597,"position":5},"title":"Guess who?","author":"JokesLab","date":"May 17, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing ''Love'' stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity gets the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Lawyer Jokes"","block_context":{"text":"Lawyer Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/lawyer-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"the-best-place-for-fishing","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/the-best-place-for-fishing-400x297.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/597","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=597"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/597\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=597"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=597"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=597"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}