{"id":552,"date":"2012-07-23T18:29:39","date_gmt":"2012-07-23T18:29:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/552\/computer-jokes\/stranded-on-an-island\/"},"modified":"2012-07-07T14:22:08","modified_gmt":"2012-07-07T14:22:08","slug":"stranded-on-an-island","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/552\/computer-jokes\/stranded-on-an-island\/","title":{"rendered":"Stranded on an island&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A rather inhibited engineer finally splurged on a luxury cruise to the Caribbean. It was the \u201ccraziest\u201d thing he had ever done in his life.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft  wp-image-7018\" title=\"funny-shoes-bicycles\" src=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/funny-shoes-bicycles.jpg\" alt=\"funny-shoes-bicycles\" width=\"483\" height=\"322\" srcset=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/funny-shoes-bicycles.jpg 604w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/funny-shoes-bicycles-150x100.jpg 150w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/funny-shoes-bicycles-400x266.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 483px) 100vw, 483px\" \/>Just as he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared upon the huge ship, capsizing it like a child&#8217;s toy. Somehow the engineer, desperately hanging on to a life preserver, managed to wash ashore on a secluded island.<\/p>\n<p>Outside of beautiful scenery, a spring-fed pool, bananas and coconuts, there was little else. He lost all hope and for hours on end and sat under the same palm tree. One day, after several months had passed, a gorgeous woman in a small rowboat appeared.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI&#8217;m from the other side of the island,\u201d she said. \u201cWere you on the cruise ship, too?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes, I was,\u201d he answered. \u201cBut where did you get that rowboat?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell, I whittled the oars from gum tree branches, wove the reinforced gunner from palm branches, and made the keel and stern from a Eucalyptus tree.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBut, what did you use for tools?\u201d asked the man, amazed.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThere was a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed on the south side of the island. I discovered that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forge-able ductile iron. Anyhow, that&#8217;s how I got the tools. But, enough of that,\u201d she said. \u201cWhere have you been living all this time? I don&#8217;t see any shelter.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTo be honest, I&#8217;ve just been sleeping on the beach,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWould you like to come to my place?\u201dthe woman asked. The engineer nodded dumbly. She expertly rowed them around to her side of the island, and tied up the boat with a handsome strand of hand-woven hemp topped with a neat back splice. They walked up a winding stone walk she had laid and around a Palm tree.There stood an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt&#8217;s not much, but I call it home.\u201dInside, she said, \u201cSit down please; would you like to have a drink?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo, thanks,\u201d said the man. \u201cOne more coconut juice and I&#8217;ll throw up!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt won&#8217;t be coconut juice,\u201d the woman replied. \u201cI have a crude still out back, so we can have authentic Pina Coladas.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted the drink, and they sat down on her couch to talk. After they had exchanged stories, the woman asked, \u201cTell me, have you always had a beard?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo,\u201d the man replied, \u201cI was clean shaven all of my life until I ended up on this island.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell if you&#8217;d like to shave, there&#8217;s a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The man, no longer questioning anything, went upstairs to the bathroom and shaved with an intricate bone-and-shell device honed razor sharp. Next he showered &#8212; not even attempting to fathom a guess as to how she managed to get warm water into the bathroom &#8212; and went back downstairs. He couldn&#8217;t help but admire the masterfully carved banister as he walked.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou look great,\u201d said the woman. \u201cI think I&#8217;ll go up and slip into something more comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>As she did, the man continued to sip his Pina Colada. After a short time, the woman, smelling faintly of gardenias, returned wearing a revealing gown fashioned out of pounded palm fronds.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTell me,\u201d she asked, \u201cWe&#8217;ve both been out here for a very long time with no companionship. You know what I mean. Haven&#8217;t you been lonely, too&#8230; isn&#8217;t there something that you really, really miss? Something that all men and woman need? Something that would be really nice to have right now&#8230;?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes there is,\u201d the man replied, shucking off his shyness. \u201cThere is something I&#8217;ve wanted to do for so long. But on this island all alone, it was just&#8230; well, it was impossible.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell, it&#8217;s not impossible, anymore,\u201d the woman said.<\/p>\n<p>The man, practically panting in excitement, said breathlessly: \u201cYou mean&#8230; you actually figured out some way we can CHECK OUR EMAIL HERE?!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/552\/computer-jokes\/stranded-on-an-island\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" src=\"\" class=\"alignleft wp-post-image tfe\" alt=\"\" title=\"\" \/><\/a><p>A rather inhibited engineer finally splurged on a luxury cruise to the Caribbean. It was the \u201ccraziest\u201d thing he had ever done in his life. Just as he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared upon the huge ship, &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/552\/computer-jokes\/stranded-on-an-island\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[11,403,21],"tags":[315,594,43,573,154,33],"class_list":["post-552","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-computer-jokes","category-hotel-and-travel-jokes","category-relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes","tag-bath","tag-email","tag-engineer","tag-island","tag-sex","tag-woman"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Stranded on an island... -Computer Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/552\/computer-jokes\/stranded-on-an-island\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Stranded on an island... -Computer Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A rather inhibited engineer finally splurged on a luxury cruise to the Caribbean. 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She threw the bike to the ground, took off\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Campus Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Campus Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/campus-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"funny-car-dragon","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/funny-car-dragon-300x200.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":17,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/17\/people-jokes\/engineer-and-manager\/","url_meta":{"origin":552,"position":5},"title":"Engineer and manager","author":"JokesLab","date":"October 31, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, \"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am.\"\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Office Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Office Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/office-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"funny-censored-magazine","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-censored-magazine.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-censored-magazine.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-censored-magazine.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/552","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=552"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/552\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=552"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=552"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=552"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}