{"id":523,"date":"2014-03-01T00:30:25","date_gmt":"2014-03-01T00:30:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/523\/people-jokes\/applying-for-a-job-at-the-cia\/"},"modified":"2013-12-28T10:58:02","modified_gmt":"2013-12-28T10:58:02","slug":"applying-for-a-job-at-the-cia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/523\/people-jokes\/applying-for-a-job-at-the-cia\/","title":{"rendered":"Applying for a job at the CIA"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/why-hooker-is-better-than-wife.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-6518\" alt=\"Applying for a job at the CIA\" src=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/why-hooker-is-better-than-wife.jpg\" width=\"393\" height=\"350\" srcset=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/why-hooker-is-better-than-wife.jpg 393w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/why-hooker-is-better-than-wife-150x133.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 393px) 100vw, 393px\" \/><\/a>These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there&#8217;s a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position.<\/p>\n<p>After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to two men and a woman, but only one position was available.<\/p>\n<p>The day came for the final test to see which person would get the extremely secretive job.<\/p>\n<p>The CIA men administering the test took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. &#8220;We must know that you will follow our instructions whatever the circumstances,&#8221; they explained. &#8220;Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair.\u00a0 Take this gun and kill her.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The man looked horrified and said, &#8220;You can&#8217;t be serious!\u00a0 I could never shoot my wife!&#8221;\u00a0\u00a0 &#8220;Well,&#8221; said the CIA man, &#8220;you&#8217;re definitely not the right man for this job then.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>So they brought the second man to the same door and handed him a gun. &#8220;We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances,&#8221; they explained to the second man.\u00a0 &#8220;Inside you will find your wife sitting in a chair.\u00a0 Take this gun and kill her.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The second man looked a bit shocked, but nevertheless took the gun and went in the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes; then the door opened.\u00a0 The man came out of the room with tears in his eyes.\u00a0 &#8220;I tried to shoot her; I just couldn&#8217;t pull the trigger and shoot my wife.\u00a0 I guess I&#8217;m not the right man for the job.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;No,&#8221; the CIA man replied, &#8220;You don&#8217;t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Now they only had the woman left to test.<\/p>\n<p>They led her to the same door to the same room and handed her the same gun. \u00a0&#8220;We must be sure that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances;this is your final test.\u00a0 Inside you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The woman took the gun and opened the door. Before the door even closed all the way, the CIA men heard the gun start firing, one shot after another for 13 shots.\u00a0 Then all hell broke loose in the room. They heard screaming, trashing, and banging on the walls.\u00a0 This went on for several minutes; then all went quiet.<\/p>\n<p>The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman.\u00a0 She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, &#8220;<strong>You guys didn&#8217;t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks.\u00a0 I had to beat the gunson of a bitch to death with the chair!<\/strong>&#8220;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/523\/people-jokes\/applying-for-a-job-at-the-cia\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" src=\"\" class=\"alignleft wp-post-image tfe\" alt=\"\" title=\"\" \/><\/a><p>A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there&#8217;s a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/523\/people-jokes\/applying-for-a-job-at-the-cia\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[18,3],"tags":[675,674,126],"class_list":["post-523","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-office-jokes","category-people-jokes","tag-assasin","tag-cia","tag-gun"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Applying for a job at the CIA -Office Jokes, People Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/523\/people-jokes\/applying-for-a-job-at-the-cia\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Applying for a job at the CIA -Office Jokes, People Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. 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