{"id":483,"date":"2013-03-12T02:32:57","date_gmt":"2013-03-12T02:32:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/483\/lawyer-jokes\/things-people-really-said-in-court\/"},"modified":"2013-03-09T13:05:32","modified_gmt":"2013-03-09T13:05:32","slug":"things-people-really-said-in-court","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/483\/lawyer-jokes\/things-people-really-said-in-court\/","title":{"rendered":"Things people really said in court"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"checking-boyfriend-bird\"Q: What is your date of birth?
\nA: July fifteenth.
\nQ: What year?
\nA: Every year.<\/p>\n

Q: This myasthenia gravis — does it affect your memory at all?
\nA: Yes.
\nQ: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
\nA: I forget.
\nQ: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you’ve forgotten?<\/p>\n

Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?
\nA: Oral.<\/p>\n

Q: How old is your son — the one living with you.
\nA: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
\nQ: How long has he lived with you?
\nA: Forty-five years.<\/p>\n

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
\nA: He said, ”Where am I, Cathy?”
\nQ: And why did that upset you?
\nA: My name is Susan.<\/p>\n

Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
\nA: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.<\/p>\n

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult?
\nA: We both do.
\nQ: Voodoo?
\nA: We do.
\nQ: You do?
\nA: Yes, voodoo.<\/p>\n

Q: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?<\/p>\n

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?<\/p>\n

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?<\/p>\n

Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
\nQ: Did he kill you?<\/p>\n

Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?<\/p>\n

Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?<\/p>\n

Q: How many times have you committed suicide?<\/p>\n

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
\nA: Yes.
\nQ: And what were you doing at that time?<\/p>\n

Q: She had three children, right?
\nA: Yes.
\nQ: How many were boys?
\nA: None.
\nQ: Were there any girls?<\/p>\n

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
\nA: Yes.
\nQ: And these stairs, did they go up also?<\/p>\n

Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you?
\nA: I went to Europe, sir.
\nQ: And you took your new wife?<\/p>\n

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
\nA: By death.
\nQ: And by whose death was it terminated?<\/p>\n

Q: Can you describe the individual?
\nA: He was about medium height and had a beard.
\nQ: Was this a male, or a female?<\/p>\n

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
\nA: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.<\/p>\n

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
\nA: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
\nQ: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
\nA: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
\nQ: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
\nA: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\"\"<\/a>

Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. Q: This myasthenia gravis — does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. 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