{"id":474,"date":"2013-06-07T01:55:07","date_gmt":"2013-06-07T01:55:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/474\/lawyer-jokes\/wheres-my-rolex\/"},"modified":"2013-05-25T05:18:59","modified_gmt":"2013-05-25T05:18:59","slug":"wheres-my-rolex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/474\/lawyer-jokes\/wheres-my-rolex\/","title":{"rendered":"Where&#8217;s my Rolex?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-7296\" alt=\"Dmitry-Medvedev-got-faked-jacket\" src=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/Dmitry-Medvedev-got-faked-jacket-400x265.jpg\" width=\"400\" height=\"265\" srcset=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/Dmitry-Medvedev-got-faked-jacket-400x265.jpg 400w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/Dmitry-Medvedev-got-faked-jacket-150x99.jpg 150w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/Dmitry-Medvedev-got-faked-jacket.jpg 640w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/>A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.<\/p>\n<p>As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver&#8217;s side of the Lexus.<\/p>\n<p>The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up.<\/p>\n<p>Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically.<\/p>\n<p>His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.<\/p>\n<p>When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.<\/p>\n<p>&#8221;I can&#8217;t believe how materialistic you lawyers are,&#8221; he said. &#8221;You are so focused on your possessions that you don&#8217;t notice anything else.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8221;How can you say such a thing?&#8221; asked the lawyer.<\/p>\n<p>The cop replied, &#8221;Don&#8217;t you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8221;Ahhh!&#8221; screamed the lawyer. &#8221;<strong>Where&#8217;s my Rolex<\/strong>!&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/474\/lawyer-jokes\/wheres-my-rolex\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" src=\"\" class=\"alignleft wp-post-image tfe\" alt=\"\" title=\"\" \/><\/a><p>A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver&#8217;s side &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/474\/lawyer-jokes\/wheres-my-rolex\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[12,18,247],"tags":[62,149,447,7,448,449],"class_list":["post-474","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lawyer-jokes","category-office-jokes","category-texas-jokes","tag-car","tag-lawyer","tag-lexus","tag-police","tag-rolex","tag-watch"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Where&#039;s my Rolex? -Lawyer Jokes, Office Jokes, Texas Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/474\/lawyer-jokes\/wheres-my-rolex\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Where&#039;s my Rolex? -Lawyer Jokes, Office Jokes, Texas Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver&#039;s side of the Lexus. The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it. When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief. &#039;&#039;I can&#039;t believe how materialistic you lawyers are,&#039;&#039; he said. &#039;&#039;You are so focused on your possessions that you don&#039;t notice anything else.&#039;&#039; &#039;&#039;How can you say such a thing?&#039;&#039; asked the lawyer. The cop replied, &#039;&#039;Don&#039;t you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you.&#039;&#039; &#039;&#039;Ahhh!&#039;&#039; screamed the lawyer. &#039;&#039;Where&#039;s my Rolex!&quot;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/474\/lawyer-jokes\/wheres-my-rolex\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-06-07T01:55:07+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/Dmitry-Medvedev-got-faked-jacket-400x265.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"JokesLab\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"JokesLab\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/474\\\/lawyer-jokes\\\/wheres-my-rolex\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/474\\\/lawyer-jokes\\\/wheres-my-rolex\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"JokesLab\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34\"},\"headline\":\"Where&#8217;s my Rolex?\",\"datePublished\":\"2013-06-07T01:55:07+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/474\\\/lawyer-jokes\\\/wheres-my-rolex\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":199,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/474\\\/lawyer-jokes\\\/wheres-my-rolex\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2011\\\/07\\\/Dmitry-Medvedev-got-faked-jacket-400x265.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"car\",\"lawyer\",\"Lexus\",\"police\",\"Rolex\",\"watch\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Lawyer Jokes\",\"Office Jokes\",\"Texas Jokes\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/474\\\/lawyer-jokes\\\/wheres-my-rolex\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/474\\\/lawyer-jokes\\\/wheres-my-rolex\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/474\\\/lawyer-jokes\\\/wheres-my-rolex\\\/\",\"name\":\"Where's my Rolex? 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