{"id":39,"date":"2011-11-21T06:24:03","date_gmt":"2011-11-21T06:24:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/39\/people-jokes\/how-to-handle-telemarketing-calls\/"},"modified":"2011-11-12T01:33:03","modified_gmt":"2011-11-12T01:33:03","slug":"how-to-handle-telemarketing-calls","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/39\/people-jokes\/how-to-handle-telemarketing-calls\/","title":{"rendered":"How to handle telemarketing calls"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>One thing that has always bugged me, and I&#8217;m sure it does most of you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-girl-i-love-to-fart.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-6321\" title=\"funny-girl-i-love-to-fart\" src=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-girl-i-love-to-fart-400x499.jpg\" alt=\"funny-girl-i-love-to-fart\" width=\"400\" height=\"499\" srcset=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-girl-i-love-to-fart-400x499.jpg 400w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-girl-i-love-to-fart-150x187.jpg 150w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-girl-i-love-to-fart.jpg 610w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a>I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating as they were to me. The call was from AT&amp;T and it went something like this: (swallowing)<\/p>\n<p>Me: Hello<br \/>\nAT&amp;T: Hello, this is AT&amp;T&#8230;<br \/>\nMe: Is this AT&amp;T?<br \/>\nAT&amp;T: Yes, this is AT&amp;T&#8230;<br \/>\nMe: This is AT&amp;T?<br \/>\nAT&amp;T: Yes This is AT&amp;T&#8230;<br \/>\nMe: Is this AT&amp;T?<br \/>\nAT&amp;T: YES! This is AT&amp;T, may I speak to Mr. Byron please?<br \/>\nMe: May I ask who is calling?<br \/>\nAT&amp;T: This is AT&amp;T.<br \/>\nMe: OK, hold on.<\/p>\n<p>At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.<\/p>\n<p>Me: Hello?<br \/>\nAT&amp;T: Is this Mr. Byron?<br \/>\nMe: May I ask who is calling please?<br \/>\nAT&amp;T: Yes this is AT&amp;T&#8230;<br \/>\nMe: Is this AT&amp;T?<br \/>\nAT&amp;T: Yes this is AT&amp;T&#8230;<br \/>\nMe: This is AT&amp;T?<br \/>\nAT&amp;T: Yes, is this Mr. Byron?<br \/>\nMe: Yes, is this AT&amp;T?<br \/>\nAT&amp;T: Yes sir.<br \/>\nMe: The phone company?<br \/>\nAT&amp;T: Yes sir.<br \/>\nMe: I thought you said this was AT&amp;T.<br \/>\nAT&amp;T: Yes sir, we are a phone company.<br \/>\nMe: I already have a phone.<br \/>\nAT&amp;T: We aren&#8217;t selling phones today Mr. Byron.<br \/>\nMe: Well whatever it is, I&#8217;m really not interested but thanks for calling.<\/p>\n<p>When you are not interested in something, I don&#8217;t think you can express yourself any plainer than by saying &#8220;I&#8217;m really not interested,&#8221; but this lady was persistent.<\/p>\n<p>AT&amp;T: Mr. Byron, we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a &#8220;rate&#8221; of 10 cents a minute, but she at no time used the word &#8220;rate.&#8221; I could clearly see that it was time to whip out the trusty old calculator and do a little ciphering.<\/p>\n<p>Me: Now, that&#8217;s 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day?<br \/>\nAT&amp;T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes sir, that&#8217;s right! 24 hours a day!<br \/>\nMe: 7 days a week?<br \/>\nAT&amp;T: That&#8217;s right.<br \/>\nMe: 365 days a year?<br \/>\nAT&amp;T: Yes sir.<br \/>\nMe: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That&#8217;s amazing!<br \/>\nAT&amp;T: We think so!<br \/>\nMe: That&#8217;s quite a sum of money!<br \/>\nAT&amp;T: Yes sir, it&#8217;s amazing how it adds up.<br \/>\nMe: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560, and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?<br \/>\nAT&amp;T: Excuse me?<br \/>\nMe: You know, the 10 cents a minute.<br \/>\nAT&amp;T: What are you talking about?<br \/>\nMe: You said you&#8217;d give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1,008 per week and $52,560 per year. I&#8217;m just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.<br \/>\nAT&amp;T: Oh no, sir, I didn&#8217;t mean we&#8217;d be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.<br \/>\nMe: Wait a minute here!!! Didn&#8217;t you say you&#8217;d give me 10 cents a minute? Are you sure this is AT&amp;T?<br \/>\nAT&amp;T: Well, yes this is AT&amp;T sir but&#8230;&#8230;<br \/>\nMe: But nothing, how do you figure that by saying that you&#8217;ll give me 10 cents a minute that I&#8217;ll give you 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I&#8217;ve read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know. Don&#8217;t use your alien brainwashing techniques on me.<br \/>\nAT&amp;T: No sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for&#8230;..<br \/>\nMe: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please!<br \/>\nAT&amp;T: Sir, I don&#8217;t think that is necessary.<br \/>\nMe: Sure! You say that now! What happens later?<br \/>\nAT&amp;T: What?<br \/>\nMe: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!<br \/>\nAT&amp;T: Yes Mr. Byron. Please hold.<\/p>\n<p>So now AT&amp;T has me on hold and my supper is getting cold. I begin to eat while I&#8217;m waiting for a supervisor. After a wait of a few minutes and while I have a mouth full of food:<\/p>\n<p>Supervisor: Mr. Byron?<br \/>\nMe: Yeth?<br \/>\nSupervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.<br \/>\nMe: Is this AT &amp; T?<br \/>\nSupervisor: Yes sir, it sure is.<\/p>\n<p>I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.<\/p>\n<p>Me: No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.<br \/>\nSupervisor: OK, no problem, I&#8217;ll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.<br \/>\nMe: Thank you.<\/p>\n<p>I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I needed to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.<\/p>\n<p>AT&amp;T: Hello Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan?<br \/>\nMe: Do you have that friends and family thing because you can never have enough friends and I&#8217;m an only child and I&#8217;d really like to have a little brother&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>AT&amp;T: (click)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/39\/people-jokes\/how-to-handle-telemarketing-calls\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" src=\"\" class=\"alignleft wp-post-image tfe\" alt=\"\" title=\"\" \/><\/a><p>One thing that has always bugged me, and I&#8217;m sure it does most of you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/39\/people-jokes\/how-to-handle-telemarketing-calls\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[22,24,18,3],"tags":[122,1038,121,549],"class_list":["post-39","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-country-jokes","category-miscellaneous-jokes","category-office-jokes","category-people-jokes","tag-at-t","tag-marketing","tag-telemarketing","tag-telephone"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How to handle telemarketing calls -Country Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/39\/people-jokes\/how-to-handle-telemarketing-calls\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to handle telemarketing calls -Country Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"One thing that has always bugged me, and I&#8217;m sure it does most of you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. 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