{"id":356,"date":"2012-05-19T12:05:10","date_gmt":"2012-05-19T12:05:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/356\/blonde-jokes\/blonde-suicide\/"},"modified":"2012-05-07T03:35:48","modified_gmt":"2012-05-07T03:35:48","slug":"blonde-suicide","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/356\/blonde-jokes\/blonde-suicide\/","title":{"rendered":"Blonde suicide"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-6812\" title=\"preparing-his-gun\" src=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/preparing-his-gun-400x296.jpg\" alt=\"preparing-his-gun\" width=\"400\" height=\"296\" srcset=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/preparing-his-gun-400x296.jpg 400w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/preparing-his-gun-150x111.jpg 150w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/preparing-his-gun.jpg 481w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/>A blonde went to the emergency room with the tip of her left index finger blown off.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHow did this happen?\u201d the doctor asked.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell I was trying to commit suicide,\u201d the blonde replied.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTrying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo silly! First I put the gun to my chest and I thought, \u2018I just paid $6,000 for these,\u2019 then I put it in my mouth and I thought, \u2018I just paid $4,000 to get my teeth fixed.\u2019 So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought, \u2018this is going to make a loud noise,\u2019 so I put my finger in my ear before I pulled the trigger.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/356\/blonde-jokes\/blonde-suicide\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" src=\"\" class=\"alignleft wp-post-image tfe\" alt=\"\" title=\"\" \/><\/a><p>A blonde went to the emergency room with the tip of her left index finger blown off. \u201cHow did this happen?\u201d the doctor asked. \u201cWell I was trying to commit suicide,\u201d the blonde replied. \u201cTrying to commit suicide by shooting &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/356\/blonde-jokes\/blonde-suicide\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2,13,18,227],"tags":[61,566,155,457,533,126,125,1181],"class_list":["post-356","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blonde-jokes","category-hospital-jokes","category-office-jokes","category-police-jokes","tag-blonde","tag-breast","tag-doctor","tag-ear","tag-finger","tag-gun","tag-suicide","tag-tooth"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - 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See?\" She touched her arm and said, \"OUCH!\" She touched her leg and, \"OUCH!\" She touched her nose, \"OUCH!\" \"See?\" she cried, \" I am\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blonde Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blonde Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/blonde-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":931,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/931\/blonde-jokes\/burnt-ears\/","url_meta":{"origin":356,"position":5},"title":"Burnt ears","author":"JokesLab","date":"December 31, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"A blonde with two burnt ears went to the doctor, who asked what had happened. \"The phone rang, and I accidentally picked up the iron.\" \"What about the other one?\" \"They called back.\"","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blonde Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blonde Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/blonde-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"blonde's Burnt ears","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/drunken-sleeping-girl-sleep-in-bathtub.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/356","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=356"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/356\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=356"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=356"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=356"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}