{"id":312,"date":"2012-11-21T10:45:47","date_gmt":"2012-11-21T10:45:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/312\/blonde-jokes\/howard-be-thy-name\/"},"modified":"2012-11-13T09:03:32","modified_gmt":"2012-11-13T09:03:32","slug":"howard-be-thy-name","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/312\/blonde-jokes\/howard-be-thy-name\/","title":{"rendered":"Howard be thy name"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A blonde dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates, where she is greeted by St. Peter.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-7286\" title=\"look-at-my-chest-when-I-am-talking-to-you\" src=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/look-at-my-chest-when-I-am-talking-to-you-400x618.jpg\" alt=\"look-at-my-chest-when-I-am-talking-to-you\" width=\"400\" height=\"618\" srcset=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/look-at-my-chest-when-I-am-talking-to-you-400x618.jpg 400w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/look-at-my-chest-when-I-am-talking-to-you-150x231.jpg 150w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/look-at-my-chest-when-I-am-talking-to-you.jpg 570w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/>&#8220;Welcome!&#8221; he says. &#8220;Because we are currently operating at 99% capacity, we can only let a limited number of souls into heaven. Therefore, you must answer my questions correctly to gain entrance.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Okay,&#8221; says the blonde.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Here&#8217;s your question: name two days of the week that begin with the letter T.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;That&#8217;s easy. Today and tomorrow!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Well, that&#8217;s not the answer I was thinking of, but I&#8217;ll give you another question. How many seconds are there in a year?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;That&#8217;s easy. Twelve!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Twelve?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;January second, February second, March second&#8211;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Okay, okay. I can see you misunderstood this question as well. Okay, one more chance. What&#8217;s God&#8217;s name?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;That&#8217;s easy. Howard!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Howard?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;You know &#8212; &#8216;Our Father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/312\/blonde-jokes\/howard-be-thy-name\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" src=\"\" class=\"alignleft wp-post-image tfe\" alt=\"\" title=\"\" \/><\/a><p>A blonde dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates, where she is greeted by St. Peter. &#8220;Welcome!&#8221; he says. &#8220;Because we are currently operating at 99% capacity, we can only let a limited number of souls into heaven. Therefore, you &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/312\/blonde-jokes\/howard-be-thy-name\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[304,2,201,222,194,42,18,3],"tags":[61,282,840,459,207],"class_list":["post-312","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-american-jokes","category-blonde-jokes","category-church-jokes","category-family-jokes","category-holiday-jokes","category-kids-jokes","category-office-jokes","category-people-jokes","tag-blonde","tag-heaven","tag-name","tag-question","tag-st-peter"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Howard be thy name -American Jokes, Blonde Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Kids Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/312\/blonde-jokes\/howard-be-thy-name\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Howard be thy name -American Jokes, Blonde Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Kids Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A blonde dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates, where she is greeted by St. Peter. &#8220;Welcome!&#8221; he says. &#8220;Because we are currently operating at 99% capacity, we can only let a limited number of souls into heaven. 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But before they do, you pull your hand away! \"That is a neat trick,\" thinks the blonde, and tries desperately to remember it,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blonde Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blonde Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/blonde-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/312","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=312"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/312\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=312"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=312"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=312"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}