{"id":230,"date":"2012-04-14T12:12:12","date_gmt":"2012-04-14T12:12:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/230\/people-jokes\/not-allowed-up-on-the-furniture\/"},"modified":"2012-04-07T14:10:15","modified_gmt":"2012-04-07T14:10:15","slug":"not-allowed-up-on-the-furniture","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/230\/people-jokes\/not-allowed-up-on-the-furniture\/","title":{"rendered":"Not allowed up on the furniture"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-6720\" title=\"why-dog-is-better-than-boy-friend\" src=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/why-dog-is-better-than-boy-friend1.jpg\" alt=\"why-dog-is-better-than-boy-friend\" width=\"300\" height=\"387\" srcset=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/why-dog-is-better-than-boy-friend1.jpg 300w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/why-dog-is-better-than-boy-friend1-150x193.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Heidberg, and sat down to explain his problem. &#8220;Doctor, doctor! I&#8217;ve got this problem,&#8221; the man said. &#8220;I keep hallucinating that I&#8217;m a dog. It&#8217;s crazy. I don&#8217;t know what to do!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;A common canine complex,&#8221; said the doctor soothingly. &#8220;Relax. Come here and lie down on the couch.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Oh no, Doctor,&#8221; the man said nervously, &#8220;I&#8217;m not allowed up on the furniture.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/230\/people-jokes\/not-allowed-up-on-the-furniture\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" src=\"\" class=\"alignleft wp-post-image tfe\" alt=\"\" title=\"\" \/><\/a><p>A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Heidberg, and sat down to explain his problem. &#8220;Doctor, doctor! I&#8217;ve got this problem,&#8221; the man said. &#8220;I keep hallucinating that I&#8217;m a dog. It&#8217;s crazy. I don&#8217;t know &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/230\/people-jokes\/not-allowed-up-on-the-furniture\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[13,3],"tags":[25,155,46,1158,537,34,221],"class_list":["post-230","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hospital-jokes","category-people-jokes","tag-animal","tag-doctor","tag-dog","tag-furniture","tag-hospital","tag-man","tag-psychiatrist"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Not allowed up on the furniture -Hospital Jokes, People Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/230\/people-jokes\/not-allowed-up-on-the-furniture\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Not allowed up on the furniture -Hospital Jokes, People Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Heidberg, and sat down to explain his problem. &#8220;Doctor, doctor! 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