{"id":22,"date":"2011-10-30T12:50:41","date_gmt":"2011-10-30T12:50:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/22\/people-jokes\/funeral-arrangements\/"},"modified":"2011-10-25T12:58:35","modified_gmt":"2011-10-25T12:58:35","slug":"funeral-arrangements","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/22\/people-jokes\/funeral-arrangements\/","title":{"rendered":"Funeral arrangements"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_6248\" style=\"width: 610px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-japanese-bra-clown.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-6248\" class=\"size-full wp-image-6248\" title=\"funny-japanese-bra-clown\" src=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-japanese-bra-clown.jpg\" alt=\"funny-japanese-bra-clown\" width=\"600\" height=\"534\" srcset=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-japanese-bra-clown.jpg 600w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-japanese-bra-clown-300x267.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-6248\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Man always wants to see what is behind.<\/p><\/div>\n<p>&#8220;Sidney thought of everything,&#8221; she told them. &#8220;Just before he died, Sidney called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes. &#8216;Tillie,&#8217; he told me, &#8216;I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am dead, please open them and do exactly as I have instructed. Then, I can rest in peace&#8217;.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;What was in the envelopes?&#8221; her friends asked.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;The first envelope contained $5,000 with a note, &#8216;Please use this money to buy a nice casket.&#8217; So I bought a beautiful mahogany casket with such a comfortable lining that I know Sidney is resting very comfortably.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;The second envelope contained $10,000 with a note, &#8216;Please use this for a nice funeral &#8216;I arranged Sidney a very dignified funeral and bought all his favorite foods for everyone attending.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;And the third envelope?&#8221; asked her friends.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;The third envelope contained $25,000 with a note, &#8216;Please use this to buy a nice stone.'&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Holding her hand in the air, Tillie said&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><strong>&#8220;So, do you like my stone?&#8221; showing off her 10 carat diamond ring.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/22\/people-jokes\/funeral-arrangements\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" src=\"\" class=\"alignleft wp-post-image tfe\" alt=\"\" title=\"\" \/><\/a><p>Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been. &#8220;Sidney thought of everything,&#8221; she told them. &#8220;Just before he died, Sidney called me to his &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/22\/people-jokes\/funeral-arrangements\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[222,3,21],"tags":[93,51,92,1019,53,1020,52,54],"class_list":["post-22","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-jokes","category-people-jokes","category-relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes","tag-casket","tag-diamond","tag-funeral","tag-gasket","tag-husband","tag-stone","tag-widow","tag-wife"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.8 - 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