{"id":2138,"date":"2012-02-07T21:05:33","date_gmt":"2012-02-07T21:05:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2138\/people-jokes\/psychiatric-hotline\/"},"modified":"2012-02-04T08:36:13","modified_gmt":"2012-02-04T08:36:13","slug":"psychiatric-hotline","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2138\/people-jokes\/psychiatric-hotline\/","title":{"rendered":"Psychiatric Hotline"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hello, welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.<\/p>\n

\"funny-photo-curb-your-enthusiasm\"“If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. “If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.”<\/p>\n

“If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.”<\/p>\n

“If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line until we can trace the call.”<\/p>\n

“If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.”<\/p>\n

“If you are manic-depressive, it doesn\u2019t matter which number you press. No one will answer.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\"\"<\/a>

Hello, welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline. “If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. “If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.” “If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.” “If you are paranoid-delusional, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[13,24,3],"tags":[231,230,34,1096,221,33],"class_list":["post-2138","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hospital-jokes","category-miscellaneous-jokes","category-people-jokes","tag-answering-machine","tag-hotline","tag-man","tag-phone","tag-psychiatrist","tag-woman"],"yoast_head":"\nPsychiatric Hotline -Hospital Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes, People Jokes - 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