{"id":2092,"date":"2014-10-10T22:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-10-10T22:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2092\/church-jokes\/life-pattern\/"},"modified":"2014-06-21T14:08:49","modified_gmt":"2014-06-21T14:08:49","slug":"life-pattern","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2092\/church-jokes\/life-pattern\/","title":{"rendered":"Life pattern"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"funny-dad-carrying-baby-in-train\"<\/a>

How to carry a baby in train?<\/p><\/div>\n

Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God\u2019s omnipotence did not extend to God\u2019s kids.<\/p>\n

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was: “Don\u2019t.”<\/p>\n

“Don\u2019t what?” Adam asked.<\/p>\n

“Don\u2019t eat the Forbidden Fruit.” God replied.<\/p>\n

“Forbidden fruit? We got Forbidden Fruit?<\/p>\n

Hey, Eve..we got Forbidden Fruit!”<\/p>\n

“No way!”<\/p>\n

“Where?”<\/p>\n

“Don\u2019t eat that fruit!” said God.<\/p>\n

“Why?”<\/p>\n

“Because I am your Creator and I said so!” said God, wondering why he hadn\u2019t stopped after making the elephants.<\/p>\n

A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry.<\/p>\n

“Didn\u2019t I tell you not to eat that fruit?” the \u2019First Parent\u2019 asked.<\/p>\n

“Uh huh,” Adam replied.<\/p>\n

“Then why did you?”<\/p>\n

“I dunno,” Eve answered.<\/p>\n

“She started it!” Adam said.<\/p>\n

“Did not!”chil<\/strong><\/p>\n

“DID so!”<\/strong><\/p>\n

“DID NOT!”<\/strong><\/p>\n

Having had it with the two of them, God\u2019s punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own…thus the pattern was set, and it has never changed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\"\"<\/a>

Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God\u2019s omnipotence did not extend to God\u2019s kids. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. 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Adam told God how much the woman means to him and how blessed he feels to have her. Adam began to ask questions about her. Adam: Lord, Eve is beautiful. Why did you make her so beautiful?\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "American Jokes"","block_context":{"text":"American Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/country-jokes\/american-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"nice-boobs","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/nice-boobs-400x298.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1916,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1916\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/adam-and-eve-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":2092,"position":3},"title":"Adam and Eve","author":"JokesLab","date":"September 24, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. \"You\u2019re running around with other women,\" she told her mate. \"Eve, honey, you\u2019re being unreasonable,\" Adam responded. \"You know you\u2019re the only woman on earth.\" The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Church and God Jokes"","block_context":{"text":"Church and God Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/church-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"save-a-virgin-do-me-instead","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/save-a-virgin-do-me-instead.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1852,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1852\/campus-jokes\/what-did-eve-say-to-adam-when-she-had-so-many-children\/","url_meta":{"origin":2092,"position":4},"title":"What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?","author":"JokesLab","date":"November 1, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Joey and Katie are sitting in school. Katie is sleeping and the teacher asks her a question. \"Katie, who created Heaven and Earth?\" Joey sees Katie sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil. \"Jesus Christ almighty! !\" Exclaimed Katie. \"Correct.\" Says the teacher. So the next day the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Campus Jokes"","block_context":{"text":"Campus Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/campus-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"funny-hat-for-girl","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/funny-hat-for-girl-400x600.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":614,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/614\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/the-lost-chapter-in-genesis\/","url_meta":{"origin":2092,"position":5},"title":"The lost chapter in Genesis","author":"JokesLab","date":"July 10, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Adam was walking around the garden of Eden, moping. 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