{"id":2092,"date":"2014-10-10T22:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-10-10T22:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2092\/church-jokes\/life-pattern\/"},"modified":"2014-06-21T14:08:49","modified_gmt":"2014-06-21T14:08:49","slug":"life-pattern","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2092\/church-jokes\/life-pattern\/","title":{"rendered":"Life pattern"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_6177\" style=\"width: 339px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/10\/funny-dad-carrying-baby-in-train.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-6177\" class=\"size-full wp-image-6177\" title=\"funny-dad-carrying-baby-in-train\" src=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/10\/funny-dad-carrying-baby-in-train.jpg\" alt=\"funny-dad-carrying-baby-in-train\" width=\"329\" height=\"464\" srcset=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/10\/funny-dad-carrying-baby-in-train.jpg 329w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/10\/funny-dad-carrying-baby-in-train-212x300.jpg 212w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 329px) 100vw, 329px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-6177\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">How to carry a baby in train?<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God\u2019s omnipotence did not extend to God\u2019s kids.<\/p>\n<p>After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was: &#8220;Don\u2019t.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Don\u2019t what?&#8221; Adam asked.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Don\u2019t eat the Forbidden Fruit.&#8221; God replied.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Forbidden fruit? We got Forbidden Fruit?<\/p>\n<p>Hey, Eve..we got Forbidden Fruit!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;No way!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Where?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Don\u2019t eat that fruit!&#8221; said God.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Why?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Because I am your Creator and I said so!&#8221; said God, wondering why he hadn\u2019t stopped after making the elephants.<\/p>\n<p>A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Didn\u2019t I tell you not to eat that fruit?&#8221; the \u2019First Parent\u2019 asked.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Uh huh,&#8221; Adam replied.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Then why did you?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I dunno,&#8221; Eve answered.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;She started it!&#8221; Adam said.<\/p>\n<p><strong>&#8220;Did not!&#8221;chil<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>&#8220;DID so!&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>&#8220;DID NOT!&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Having had it with the two of them, God\u2019s punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own&#8230;thus the pattern was set, and it has never changed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2092\/church-jokes\/life-pattern\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" src=\"\" class=\"alignleft wp-post-image tfe\" alt=\"\" title=\"\" \/><\/a><p>Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God\u2019s omnipotence did not extend to God\u2019s kids. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2092\/church-jokes\/life-pattern\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[201,222,339],"tags":[646,963,4,647,35],"class_list":["post-2092","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-church-jokes","category-family-jokes","category-your-momma-jokes","tag-adam","tag-apple","tag-child","tag-eve","tag-god"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Life pattern -Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Your Momma Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2092\/church-jokes\/life-pattern\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Life pattern -Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Your Momma Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God\u2019s omnipotence did not extend to God\u2019s kids. 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