{"id":2012,"date":"2013-10-25T04:23:22","date_gmt":"2013-10-25T04:23:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2012\/people-jokes\/mrs-jones-do-you-know-me\/"},"modified":"2013-10-11T08:12:45","modified_gmt":"2013-10-11T08:12:45","slug":"mrs-jones-do-you-know-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2012\/people-jokes\/mrs-jones-do-you-know-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-6733\" alt=\"funny-revenge-pee-to-your-neighbours-car\" src=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/funny-revenge-pee-to-your-neighbours-car-400x311.jpg\" width=\"400\" height=\"311\" srcset=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/funny-revenge-pee-to-your-neighbours-car-400x311.jpg 400w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/funny-revenge-pee-to-your-neighbours-car-150x116.jpg 150w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/funny-revenge-pee-to-your-neighbours-car.jpg 569w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/>A small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial \u2014 a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, &#8220;Mrs. Jones, do you know me?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>She responded, &#8220;Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I\u2019ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you\u2019ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you\u2019re a rising big shot when you haven\u2019t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, &#8220;Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>She again replied, &#8220;Why, yes I do. I\u2019ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He\u2019s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. The man can\u2019t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, &#8220;If either of you asks her if she knows me, you\u2019ll be jailed for contempt!&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2012\/people-jokes\/mrs-jones-do-you-know-me\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" src=\"\" class=\"alignleft wp-post-image tfe\" alt=\"\" title=\"\" \/><\/a><p>A small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial \u2014 a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, &#8220;Mrs. Jones, do you know me?&#8221; She responded, &#8220;Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2012\/people-jokes\/mrs-jones-do-you-know-me\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[12,3,247],"tags":[85,466,149],"class_list":["post-2012","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lawyer-jokes","category-people-jokes","category-texas-jokes","tag-court","tag-judge","tag-lawyer"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Mrs. Jones, do you know me? -Lawyer Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2012\/people-jokes\/mrs-jones-do-you-know-me\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Mrs. Jones, do you know me? -Lawyer Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial \u2014 a grandmotherly, elderly woman. 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Have you looked through her briefs? 9. He's one hard judge! 8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers. 7. His attorney withdrew at the last minute. 6. Is it a penal offense? 5. Better leave the handcuffs on. 4. For $200 an hour, she better be good! 3. Can\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Lawyer Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Lawyer Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/lawyer-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"funny-graduate-girls, sexy photo","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/funny-graduate-girls.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":483,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/483\/lawyer-jokes\/things-people-really-said-in-court\/","url_meta":{"origin":2012,"position":5},"title":"Things people really said in court","author":"JokesLab","date":"March 12, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. 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