{"id":2004,"date":"2011-07-07T04:48:18","date_gmt":"2011-07-07T04:48:18","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2011-07-07T04:48:18","modified_gmt":"2011-07-07T04:48:18","slug":"for-the-sick","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2004\/kids-jokes\/for-the-sick\/","title":{"rendered":"For the Sick"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A little 9 year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Mommy&#8221; she said, &#8221; Can we leave now?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;No.&#8221; her mother replied.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Well, I think I have to throw up!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Well, then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>In about 2 minutes the little girl returned to her seat.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Did you throw up?&#8221; her mother asked.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Yes,&#8221; replied the little girl.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I didn\u2019t have to go out of the church, Mommy,&#8221; she replied. &#8220;They have a box next to the front door that say \u2019for the sick.\u2019&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2004\/kids-jokes\/for-the-sick\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" src=\"\" class=\"alignleft wp-post-image tfe\" alt=\"\" title=\"\" \/><\/a><p>A little 9 year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. &#8220;Mommy&#8221; she said, &#8221; Can we leave now?&#8221; &#8220;No.&#8221; her mother replied. &#8220;Well, I think I have to throw up!&#8221; &#8220;Well, then go &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2004\/kids-jokes\/for-the-sick\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[222,42],"tags":[866],"class_list":["post-2004","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-jokes","category-kids-jokes","tag-vomit"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>For the Sick -Family Jokes, Kids Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2004\/kids-jokes\/for-the-sick\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"For the Sick -Family Jokes, Kids Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A little 9 year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. &#8220;Mommy&#8221; she said, &#8221; Can we leave now?&#8221; &#8220;No.&#8221; her mother replied. &#8220;Well, I think I have to throw up!&#8221; &#8220;Well, then go &hellip; Continue reading &rarr;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2004\/kids-jokes\/for-the-sick\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-07-07T04:48:18+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"JokesLab\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"JokesLab\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/2004\\\/kids-jokes\\\/for-the-sick\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/2004\\\/kids-jokes\\\/for-the-sick\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"JokesLab\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34\"},\"headline\":\"For the Sick\",\"datePublished\":\"2011-07-07T04:48:18+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/2004\\\/kids-jokes\\\/for-the-sick\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":127,\"commentCount\":0,\"keywords\":[\"vomit\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Family Jokes\",\"Kids Jokes\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/2004\\\/kids-jokes\\\/for-the-sick\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/2004\\\/kids-jokes\\\/for-the-sick\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/2004\\\/kids-jokes\\\/for-the-sick\\\/\",\"name\":\"For the Sick -Family Jokes, Kids Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2011-07-07T04:48:18+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/2004\\\/kids-jokes\\\/for-the-sick\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/2004\\\/kids-jokes\\\/for-the-sick\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/2004\\\/kids-jokes\\\/for-the-sick\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"For the Sick\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/\",\"name\":\"JokesLab Funniest Jokes\",\"description\":\"the best collection of clean jokes\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34\",\"name\":\"JokesLab\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/1ddeb11c3ee03f5ac75289908398f7c36b4cb3b51cf8fc4561a798c09b6c5574?s=96&d=monsterid&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/1ddeb11c3ee03f5ac75289908398f7c36b4cb3b51cf8fc4561a798c09b6c5574?s=96&d=monsterid&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/1ddeb11c3ee03f5ac75289908398f7c36b4cb3b51cf8fc4561a798c09b6c5574?s=96&d=monsterid&r=g\",\"caption\":\"JokesLab\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/author\\\/adminblog\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"For the Sick -Family Jokes, Kids Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2004\/kids-jokes\/for-the-sick\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"For the Sick -Family Jokes, Kids Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes","og_description":"A little 9 year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. &#8220;Mommy&#8221; she said, &#8221; Can we leave now?&#8221; &#8220;No.&#8221; her mother replied. &#8220;Well, I think I have to throw up!&#8221; &#8220;Well, then go &hellip; Continue reading &rarr;","og_url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2004\/kids-jokes\/for-the-sick\/","og_site_name":"JokesLab Funniest Jokes","article_published_time":"2011-07-07T04:48:18+00:00","author":"JokesLab","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"JokesLab","Est. reading time":"1 minute"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2004\/kids-jokes\/for-the-sick\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2004\/kids-jokes\/for-the-sick\/"},"author":{"name":"JokesLab","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/#\/schema\/person\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34"},"headline":"For the Sick","datePublished":"2011-07-07T04:48:18+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2004\/kids-jokes\/for-the-sick\/"},"wordCount":127,"commentCount":0,"keywords":["vomit"],"articleSection":["Family Jokes","Kids Jokes"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2004\/kids-jokes\/for-the-sick\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2004\/kids-jokes\/for-the-sick\/","url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2004\/kids-jokes\/for-the-sick\/","name":"For the Sick -Family Jokes, Kids Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/#website"},"datePublished":"2011-07-07T04:48:18+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/#\/schema\/person\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2004\/kids-jokes\/for-the-sick\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2004\/kids-jokes\/for-the-sick\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2004\/kids-jokes\/for-the-sick\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"For the Sick"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/#website","url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/","name":"JokesLab Funniest Jokes","description":"the best collection of clean jokes","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/#\/schema\/person\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34","name":"JokesLab","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1ddeb11c3ee03f5ac75289908398f7c36b4cb3b51cf8fc4561a798c09b6c5574?s=96&d=monsterid&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1ddeb11c3ee03f5ac75289908398f7c36b4cb3b51cf8fc4561a798c09b6c5574?s=96&d=monsterid&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1ddeb11c3ee03f5ac75289908398f7c36b4cb3b51cf8fc4561a798c09b6c5574?s=96&d=monsterid&r=g","caption":"JokesLab"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/jokeslab.com"],"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/author\/adminblog\/"}]}},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1853,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1853\/campus-jokes\/homework\/","url_meta":{"origin":2004,"position":0},"title":"Homework","author":"JokesLab","date":"September 4, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, \"Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn\u2019t do.\" The mother exclaimed, \"But that\u2019s terrible! I\u2019m going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Campus Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Campus Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/campus-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"look-like-girl-and-dog","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/look-like-girl-and-dog.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/look-like-girl-and-dog.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/look-like-girl-and-dog.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1962,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1962\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/family-history\/","url_meta":{"origin":2004,"position":1},"title":"Family history","author":"JokesLab","date":"September 16, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"One day a sweet little girl becomes puzzled about her origin. \"How did I get here, Mommy?\" she asks. Her mother replies, using a well-worn phrase, \"Why God sent you, Honey.\" \"And did God send you too, Mommy?\" she continues. \"Yes, Sweetheart, he did.\" \"And Daddy, and Grandma and Grandpa,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;American Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"American Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/country-jokes\/american-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"look-like-girl-and-dog","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/look-like-girl-and-dog1-400x388.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":496,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/496\/people-jokes\/where-are-you-going-to-find-a-lawyer-in-the-heaven\/","url_meta":{"origin":2004,"position":2},"title":"Where are you going to find a lawyer in the heaven?","author":"JokesLab","date":"May 18, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"There was a construction worker who was working on a building when he fell 15 stories to his bloody death. He arrived at the pearly gates and St. Peter said ''Oh, I am sorry, my son. But you have been sentenced to hell. The worker agreed -- not like he\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;American Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"American Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/country-jokes\/american-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"cheater-girl-with-boyfriends-friend","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/cheater-girl-with-boyfriends-friend-400x417.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2005,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/2005\/kids-jokes\/where-is-the-god\/","url_meta":{"origin":2004,"position":3},"title":"Where is the God?","author":"JokesLab","date":"July 15, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved. They boys\u2019 mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Church and God Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Church and God Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/church-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"funny-boy-finding-food-in-refrigerator","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/funny-boy-finding-food-in-refrigerator.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1953,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1953\/campus-jokes\/drawing-god\/","url_meta":{"origin":2004,"position":4},"title":"Drawing God","author":"JokesLab","date":"July 6, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"A Kindergarten teacher was walking around the classroom observing the students while they were drawing. Stopping at the desk of one little girl who was working hard on her drawing, the teacher asked what the girl was drawing. The girl replied, \"I\u2019m drawing God.\" The teacher paused and said, \"But\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Campus Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Campus Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/campus-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"child-cheater-angry-child","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/child-cheater-angry-child-400x308.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1957,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1957\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/you-got-an-%e2%80%99f%e2%80%99-in-sex\/","url_meta":{"origin":2004,"position":5},"title":"You got an \u2019F\u2019 in sex","author":"JokesLab","date":"August 20, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"A little girl and her mother were out and about. Out of the blue, the girl asked her mother, \"Mommy, How old are you?\" The mother responded, \"Honey, women don\u2019t talk about their age. You\u2019ll learn this as you get older.\" The girl then asked, \"Mommy, how much do you\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Kids Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Kids Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/kids-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"funny-kids-strip-dance-and-babies","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/funny-kids-strip-dance-and-babies-400x245.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2004","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2004"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2004\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2004"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2004"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2004"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}