{"id":1901,"date":"2011-09-18T03:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-09-18T03:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1901\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/how-to-keep-the-marriage-and-save-money\/"},"modified":"2011-09-16T15:01:09","modified_gmt":"2011-09-16T15:01:09","slug":"how-to-keep-the-marriage-and-save-money","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1901\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/how-to-keep-the-marriage-and-save-money\/","title":{"rendered":"How to keep the marriage, and save money"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/funny-pose-i-catchp-the-bird.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-6031\" title=\"funny-pose-i-catchp-the-bird\" src=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/funny-pose-i-catchp-the-bird-300x276.jpg\" alt=\"funny-pose-i-catchp-the-bird\" width=\"300\" height=\"276\" srcset=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/funny-pose-i-catchp-the-bird-300x276.jpg 300w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/funny-pose-i-catchp-the-bird.jpg 526w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a>As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her husband\u2019s ranch. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and asked her husband NEVER to touch it.<\/p>\n<p>For fifty long years Uncle Jack left the box alone until Aunt Edna was old and dying. One day when he was putting their affairs in order, he found the box again and thought it might hold something important. Opening it, he found two doilies and $82,500 in cash.<\/p>\n<p>He took the box to Aunt Edna and asked about the contents.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;My mother gave me that box the day we married,&#8221; she explained. &#8220;She told me to make a doily to help ease my frustrations every time I got mad at you.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Uncle Jack was very touched that in 50 years she\u2019d only been mad at him twice.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;What\u2019s the $82,500 for?&#8221; he asked.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Oh, <strong>that\u2019s the money I made selling the rest of the doilies<\/strong>.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1901\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/how-to-keep-the-marriage-and-save-money\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" src=\"\" class=\"alignleft wp-post-image tfe\" alt=\"\" title=\"\" \/><\/a><p>As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her husband\u2019s ranch. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and asked her husband NEVER to touch it. For fifty long years Uncle Jack &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1901\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/how-to-keep-the-marriage-and-save-money\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[222,21],"tags":[975,53,974,76,103,54],"class_list":["post-1901","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-jokes","category-relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes","tag-doily","tag-husband","tag-mad","tag-marriage","tag-money","tag-wife"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How to keep the marriage, and save money -Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1901\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/how-to-keep-the-marriage-and-save-money\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to keep the marriage, and save money -Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her husband\u2019s ranch. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and asked her husband NEVER to touch it. 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She told him \"Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!\" The next morning he got up early\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Family Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Family Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/family-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"funny-girl-smelling-her-breast","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/funny-girl-smelling-her-breast.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/funny-girl-smelling-her-breast.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/funny-girl-smelling-her-breast.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1372,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1372\/people-jokes\/a-letter-from-mom\/","url_meta":{"origin":1901,"position":5},"title":"A letter from Mom","author":"JokesLab","date":"April 30, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Dear Son, I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you first left. Your Dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Campus Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Campus Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/campus-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"funny-celebration-smoking-and-longevity","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-celebration-smoking-and-longevity.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1901","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1901"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1901\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1901"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1901"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1901"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}