{"id":1894,"date":"2011-09-16T20:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-09-16T20:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1894\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\/"},"modified":"2011-08-30T07:58:49","modified_gmt":"2011-08-30T07:58:49","slug":"new-year%e2%80%99s-present","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1894\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\/","title":{"rendered":"New Year\u2019s present"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_6002\" style=\"width: 514px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/funny-slogan-i-wish-these-were-brains.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-6002\" class=\"size-full wp-image-6002\" title=\"funny-slogan-i-wish-these-were-brains, sexy blonde\" src=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/funny-slogan-i-wish-these-were-brains.jpg\" alt=\"funny-slogan-i-wish-these-were-brains, sexy blonde\" width=\"504\" height=\"672\" srcset=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/funny-slogan-i-wish-these-were-brains.jpg 504w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/funny-slogan-i-wish-these-were-brains-225x300.jpg 225w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 504px) 100vw, 504px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-6002\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">I wishes these are not brains.<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on New Year\u2019s Eve before the festivities.<\/p>\n<p>After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, \u2019I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year\u2019s present. What do you think it all means?\u2019<\/p>\n<p>\u2019Aha, you\u2019ll know tonight,\u2019 answered Max smiling broadly.<\/p>\n<p>At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached Jemima and handed her small package. Delighted and excited she opened it quickly. There in her hand rested a book entitled: \u2019The meaning of dreams\u2019.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1894\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" src=\"\" class=\"alignleft wp-post-image tfe\" alt=\"\" title=\"\" \/><\/a><p>Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on New Year\u2019s Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, \u2019I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year\u2019s present. What do &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1894\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[194,21],"tags":[756,51,209,53,972,54],"class_list":["post-1894","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-holiday-jokes","category-relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes","tag-book","tag-diamond","tag-gift","tag-husband","tag-new-year","tag-wife"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>New Year\u2019s present -Holiday Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1894\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/new-year\u2019s-present\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"New Year\u2019s present -Holiday Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on New Year\u2019s Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, \u2019I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year\u2019s present. What do &hellip; Continue reading &rarr;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1894\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/new-year\u2019s-present\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-09-16T20:00:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/funny-slogan-i-wish-these-were-brains.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"JokesLab\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"JokesLab\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1894\\\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\\\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1894\\\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\\\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"JokesLab\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34\"},\"headline\":\"New Year\u2019s present\",\"datePublished\":\"2011-09-16T20:00:00+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1894\\\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\\\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":109,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1894\\\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\\\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2011\\\/08\\\/funny-slogan-i-wish-these-were-brains.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"book\",\"diamond\",\"gift\",\"husband\",\"New Year\",\"wife\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Holiday Jokes\",\"Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1894\\\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\\\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1894\\\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\\\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1894\\\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\\\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\\\/\",\"name\":\"New Year\u2019s present -Holiday Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1894\\\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\\\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1894\\\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\\\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2011\\\/08\\\/funny-slogan-i-wish-these-were-brains.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2011-09-16T20:00:00+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1894\\\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\\\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1894\\\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\\\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1894\\\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\\\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2011\\\/08\\\/funny-slogan-i-wish-these-were-brains.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2011\\\/08\\\/funny-slogan-i-wish-these-were-brains.jpg\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1894\\\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\\\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"New Year\u2019s present\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/\",\"name\":\"JokesLab Funniest Jokes\",\"description\":\"the best collection of clean jokes\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34\",\"name\":\"JokesLab\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/1ddeb11c3ee03f5ac75289908398f7c36b4cb3b51cf8fc4561a798c09b6c5574?s=96&d=monsterid&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/1ddeb11c3ee03f5ac75289908398f7c36b4cb3b51cf8fc4561a798c09b6c5574?s=96&d=monsterid&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/1ddeb11c3ee03f5ac75289908398f7c36b4cb3b51cf8fc4561a798c09b6c5574?s=96&d=monsterid&r=g\",\"caption\":\"JokesLab\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/author\\\/adminblog\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"New Year\u2019s present -Holiday Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1894\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/new-year\u2019s-present\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"New Year\u2019s present -Holiday Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes","og_description":"Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on New Year\u2019s Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, \u2019I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year\u2019s present. What do &hellip; Continue reading &rarr;","og_url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1894\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/new-year\u2019s-present\/","og_site_name":"JokesLab Funniest Jokes","article_published_time":"2011-09-16T20:00:00+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/funny-slogan-i-wish-these-were-brains.jpg","type":"","width":"","height":""}],"author":"JokesLab","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"JokesLab","Est. reading time":"1 minute"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1894\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1894\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\/"},"author":{"name":"JokesLab","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/#\/schema\/person\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34"},"headline":"New Year\u2019s present","datePublished":"2011-09-16T20:00:00+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1894\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\/"},"wordCount":109,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1894\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/funny-slogan-i-wish-these-were-brains.jpg","keywords":["book","diamond","gift","husband","New Year","wife"],"articleSection":["Holiday Jokes","Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1894\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1894\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\/","url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1894\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\/","name":"New Year\u2019s present -Holiday Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1894\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1894\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/funny-slogan-i-wish-these-were-brains.jpg","datePublished":"2011-09-16T20:00:00+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/#\/schema\/person\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1894\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1894\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1894\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\/#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/funny-slogan-i-wish-these-were-brains.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/funny-slogan-i-wish-these-were-brains.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1894\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/new-year%e2%80%99s-present\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"New Year\u2019s present"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/#website","url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/","name":"JokesLab Funniest Jokes","description":"the best collection of clean jokes","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/#\/schema\/person\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34","name":"JokesLab","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1ddeb11c3ee03f5ac75289908398f7c36b4cb3b51cf8fc4561a798c09b6c5574?s=96&d=monsterid&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1ddeb11c3ee03f5ac75289908398f7c36b4cb3b51cf8fc4561a798c09b6c5574?s=96&d=monsterid&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1ddeb11c3ee03f5ac75289908398f7c36b4cb3b51cf8fc4561a798c09b6c5574?s=96&d=monsterid&r=g","caption":"JokesLab"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/jokeslab.com"],"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/author\/adminblog\/"}]}},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":573,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/573\/people-jokes\/hold-this-stuff-for-a-while\/","url_meta":{"origin":1894,"position":0},"title":"Hold this stuff for a while","author":"JokesLab","date":"May 23, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says: ''I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'' The husband says, ''WHAT??'' The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Family Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Family Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/family-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"your-third-shoes-king-size-condom","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/your-third-shoes-king-size-condom-400x248.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":15,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/15\/animal-jokes\/panda-bear\/","url_meta":{"origin":1894,"position":1},"title":"Panda bear","author":"JokesLab","date":"November 23, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"A panda bear walks into a bar, and tells the bartender that he wants to have lunch. The bartender gives him a menu and he orders. The panda bear eats his lunch, and when he finishes, he gets up to leave. Suddenly, the panda bear pulls an AK-47 out of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Animal Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Animal Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/animal-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"funny-car-note","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-car-note-400x417.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":22,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/22\/people-jokes\/funeral-arrangements\/","url_meta":{"origin":1894,"position":2},"title":"Funeral arrangements","author":"JokesLab","date":"October 30, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been. \"Sidney thought of everything,\" she told them. \"Just before he died, Sidney called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes. 'Tillie,' he told me,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Family Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Family Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/family-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"funny-japanese-bra-clown","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-japanese-bra-clown.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-japanese-bra-clown.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-japanese-bra-clown.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1915,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1915\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/valentine%e2%80%99s-day-dream\/","url_meta":{"origin":1894,"position":3},"title":"Valentine\u2019s day dream","author":"JokesLab","date":"September 24, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, \"I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine\u2019s day. What do you think it means?\" \"You\u2019ll know tonight.\" he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Family Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Family Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/family-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"photo-bomb-horse-face","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/photo-bomb-horse-face.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1773,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1773\/people-jokes\/never-argue-with-a-woman-who-reads\/","url_meta":{"origin":1894,"position":4},"title":"Never argue with a woman who reads","author":"JokesLab","date":"October 30, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a short nap. Although she isn't familiar with the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Office Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Office Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/office-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"book-bathtub","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/book-bathtub2-400x252.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1882,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1882\/blonde-jokes\/you%e2%80%99re-the-next\/","url_meta":{"origin":1894,"position":5},"title":"You\u2019re the next","author":"JokesLab","date":"July 10, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blonde Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blonde Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/blonde-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"it's you luck-day, if you can read these  words in  my panties","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/funny-panties-luck-day.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1894","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1894"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1894\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1894"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1894"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1894"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}