{"id":1784,"date":"2013-06-20T04:28:59","date_gmt":"2013-06-20T04:28:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1784\/computer-jokes\/a-software-engineer-a-hardware-engineer-and-a-branch-manager\/"},"modified":"2013-05-25T13:28:29","modified_gmt":"2013-05-25T13:28:29","slug":"a-software-engineer-a-hardware-engineer-and-a-branch-manager","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1784\/computer-jokes\/a-software-engineer-a-hardware-engineer-and-a-branch-manager\/","title":{"rendered":"A software engineer, a hardware engineer and a branch manager"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-7224\" alt=\"car-crash-photo\" src=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/car-crash-photo-400x256.jpg\" width=\"400\" height=\"256\" srcset=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/car-crash-photo-400x256.jpg 400w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/car-crash-photo-150x96.jpg 150w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/car-crash-photo.jpg 500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/>A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting.<\/p>\n<p>They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed.<\/p>\n<p>The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside.<\/p>\n<p>The car\u2019s occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. What were they to do?<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I know,&#8221; said the Branch Manager, &#8220;Let\u2019s have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;No, no,&#8221; said the Hardware Engineer, &#8220;That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. I\u2019ve got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car\u2019s braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Well,&#8221; said the Software Engineer, &#8220;<strong>Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again<\/strong>.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1784\/computer-jokes\/a-software-engineer-a-hardware-engineer-and-a-branch-manager\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" src=\"\" class=\"alignleft wp-post-image tfe\" alt=\"\" title=\"\" \/><\/a><p>A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1784\/computer-jokes\/a-software-engineer-a-hardware-engineer-and-a-branch-manager\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[19,213,11,18],"tags":[265,570,62,43,1341,44,971,821],"class_list":["post-1784","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-campus-jokes","category-car-jokes","category-computer-jokes","category-office-jokes","tag-accident","tag-brake","tag-car","tag-engineer","tag-hardware","tag-manager","tag-mountain","tag-software"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>A software engineer, a hardware engineer and a branch manager -Campus Jokes, Car Jokes, Computer Jokes, Office Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1784\/computer-jokes\/a-software-engineer-a-hardware-engineer-and-a-branch-manager\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A software engineer, a hardware engineer and a branch manager -Campus Jokes, Car Jokes, Computer Jokes, Office Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. The car\u2019s occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. What were they to do? &quot;I know,&quot; said the Branch Manager, &quot;Let\u2019s have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way.&quot; &quot;No, no,&quot; said the Hardware Engineer, &quot;That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. I\u2019ve got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car\u2019s braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way.&quot; &quot;Well,&quot; said the Software Engineer, &quot;Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again.&quot;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1784\/computer-jokes\/a-software-engineer-a-hardware-engineer-and-a-branch-manager\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-06-20T04:28:59+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/car-crash-photo-400x256.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"JokesLab\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"JokesLab\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1784\\\/computer-jokes\\\/a-software-engineer-a-hardware-engineer-and-a-branch-manager\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1784\\\/computer-jokes\\\/a-software-engineer-a-hardware-engineer-and-a-branch-manager\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"JokesLab\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34\"},\"headline\":\"A software engineer, a hardware engineer and a branch manager\",\"datePublished\":\"2013-06-20T04:28:59+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1784\\\/computer-jokes\\\/a-software-engineer-a-hardware-engineer-and-a-branch-manager\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":222,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1784\\\/computer-jokes\\\/a-software-engineer-a-hardware-engineer-and-a-branch-manager\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2012\\\/10\\\/car-crash-photo-400x256.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"accident\",\"brake\",\"car\",\"engineer\",\"hardware\",\"manager\",\"mountain\",\"software\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Campus Jokes\",\"Car Jokes\",\"Computer Jokes\",\"Office Jokes\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1784\\\/computer-jokes\\\/a-software-engineer-a-hardware-engineer-and-a-branch-manager\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1784\\\/computer-jokes\\\/a-software-engineer-a-hardware-engineer-and-a-branch-manager\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1784\\\/computer-jokes\\\/a-software-engineer-a-hardware-engineer-and-a-branch-manager\\\/\",\"name\":\"A software engineer, a hardware engineer and a branch manager -Campus Jokes, Car Jokes, Computer Jokes, Office Jokes - 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She threw the bike to the ground, took off\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Campus Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Campus Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/campus-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"funny-dog-taking-bag-on-bicycles","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/funny-dog-taking-bag-on-bicycles-400x400.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1758,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1758\/campus-jokes\/a-physicist-an-engineer-and-a-mathematician\/","url_meta":{"origin":1784,"position":5},"title":"A physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician","author":"JokesLab","date":"August 26, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"A Physicist, an Engineer, and a Mathematician are all locked in separate burning buildings. The Physicist runs to a chalkboard, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, runs and finds that amount, puts out the fire, and survives. 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