{"id":1757,"date":"2011-08-07T04:30:56","date_gmt":"2011-08-07T04:30:56","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2011-08-27T17:05:46","modified_gmt":"2011-08-27T17:05:46","slug":"child-custody","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1757\/lawyer-jokes\/child-custody\/","title":{"rendered":"Child Custody"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_5802\" style=\"width: 339px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/funny-dad-carrying-baby-in-train.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-5802\" class=\"size-full wp-image-5802\" title=\"funny-dad-carrying-baby-in-train\" src=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/funny-dad-carrying-baby-in-train.jpg\" alt=\"funny-dad-carrying-baby-in-train\" width=\"329\" height=\"464\" srcset=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/funny-dad-carrying-baby-in-train.jpg 329w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/funny-dad-carrying-baby-in-train-212x300.jpg 212w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 329px) 100vw, 329px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-5802\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">The model daddy!<\/p><\/div>\n<p>The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.<\/p>\n<p>The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification.<\/p>\n<p>After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied&#8230; &#8220;Your Honor, <strong>when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?<\/strong>&#8220;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1757\/lawyer-jokes\/child-custody\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" src=\"\" class=\"alignleft wp-post-image tfe\" alt=\"\" title=\"\" \/><\/a><p>A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1757\/lawyer-jokes\/child-custody\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[222,12,21],"tags":[4,85],"class_list":["post-1757","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-jokes","category-lawyer-jokes","category-relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes","tag-child","tag-court"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Child Custody -Family Jokes, Lawyer Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1757\/lawyer-jokes\/child-custody\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Child Custody -Family Jokes, Lawyer Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. 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