{"id":1751,"date":"2012-08-27T10:57:54","date_gmt":"2012-08-27T10:57:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1751\/animal-jokes\/a-dog-named-sex\/"},"modified":"2012-08-27T09:30:48","modified_gmt":"2012-08-27T09:30:48","slug":"a-dog-named-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1751\/animal-jokes\/a-dog-named-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"A dog named Sex"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him &#8220;Rover&#8221; or &#8220;Spot&#8221;. I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me.<\/p>\n<p>When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog\u2019s license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, &#8220;I would like to have one too!&#8221; Then I said, &#8220;But she is a dog!&#8221; He said he didn\u2019t care what she looked like. I said, &#8220;You don\u2019t understand&#8230; I have had Sex since I was nine years old.&#8221; He replied, &#8220;You must have been quite a strong boy.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, &#8220;But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex.&#8221; He said he didn\u2019t want to hear about my personal life<img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-7110\" title=\"a-dog-named-sex\" src=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/dog-smelling-girls-buttocks-400x363.jpg\" alt=\"a-dog-named-sex\" width=\"400\" height=\"363\" srcset=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/dog-smelling-girls-buttocks-400x363.jpg 400w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/dog-smelling-girls-buttocks-150x136.jpg 150w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/dog-smelling-girls-buttocks.jpg 570w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/> and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.<\/p>\n<p>When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, &#8220;You don\u2019t understand. &#8230; Sex keeps me awake at night.&#8221; The clerk said, &#8220;Me too!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. &#8220;You don\u2019t understand,&#8221; I said, &#8220;I hoped to have Sex on TV.&#8221; He called me a show off.<\/p>\n<p>When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, &#8220;Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married.&#8221; The Judge said, &#8220;Me too!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o\u2019clock in the morning. I said, &#8220;I\u2019m looking for Sex.&#8221; &#8211; My case comes up next Thursday.<\/p>\n<p>Well now I\u2019ve been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, &#8220;What seems to be the trouble?&#8221; I replied, &#8220;Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn\u2019t live any longer so lonely.&#8221; and the doctor said, &#8220;Look mister, you should understand that sex isn\u2019t a man\u2019s best friend so get yourself a dog.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1751\/animal-jokes\/a-dog-named-sex\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" src=\"\" class=\"alignleft wp-post-image tfe\" alt=\"\" title=\"\" \/><\/a><p>Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him &#8220;Rover&#8221; or &#8220;Spot&#8221;. I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog\u2019s license, I told the &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1751\/animal-jokes\/a-dog-named-sex\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1,18,21],"tags":[84,46,423,63,76,840,154,54],"class_list":["post-1751","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-animal-jokes","category-office-jokes","category-relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes","tag-divorce","tag-dog","tag-girl-friend","tag-license","tag-marriage","tag-name","tag-sex","tag-wife"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>A dog named Sex -Animal Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1751\/animal-jokes\/a-dog-named-sex\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A dog named Sex -Animal Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him &#8220;Rover&#8221; or &#8220;Spot&#8221;. I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog\u2019s license, I told the &hellip; Continue reading &rarr;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1751\/animal-jokes\/a-dog-named-sex\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-08-27T10:57:54+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/dog-smelling-girls-buttocks-400x363.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"JokesLab\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"JokesLab\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1751\\\/animal-jokes\\\/a-dog-named-sex\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1751\\\/animal-jokes\\\/a-dog-named-sex\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"JokesLab\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34\"},\"headline\":\"A dog named Sex\",\"datePublished\":\"2012-08-27T10:57:54+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1751\\\/animal-jokes\\\/a-dog-named-sex\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":535,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1751\\\/animal-jokes\\\/a-dog-named-sex\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2011\\\/08\\\/dog-smelling-girls-buttocks-400x363.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"divorce\",\"dog\",\"girl friend\",\"license\",\"marriage\",\"name\",\"sex\",\"wife\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Animal Jokes\",\"Office Jokes\",\"Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1751\\\/animal-jokes\\\/a-dog-named-sex\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1751\\\/animal-jokes\\\/a-dog-named-sex\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1751\\\/animal-jokes\\\/a-dog-named-sex\\\/\",\"name\":\"A dog named Sex -Animal Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes - 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