{"id":1748,"date":"2012-12-03T03:52:47","date_gmt":"2012-12-03T03:52:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1748\/people-jokes\/recruiting\/"},"modified":"2012-12-02T01:04:33","modified_gmt":"2012-12-02T01:04:33","slug":"recruiting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1748\/people-jokes\/recruiting\/","title":{"rendered":"Recruiting"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and died.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-7308\" title=\"skyy-vodka-how-to-get-woman\" src=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/skyy-vodka-how-to-get-woman.jpg\" alt=\"skyy-vodka-how-to-get-woman\" width=\"400\" height=\"480\" srcset=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/skyy-vodka-how-to-get-woman.jpg 400w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/skyy-vodka-how-to-get-woman-150x180.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/>Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the pearly gates by St. Peter himself. &#8220;Welcome to Heaven,&#8221; said St. Peter. &#8220;Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we\u2019ve never once had an executive make it this far, and we\u2019re not really sure what to do with you.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;No problem, just let me in.&#8221; said the woman.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Well, I\u2019d like to, but I have higher orders. What we\u2019re going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want, to spend an eternity in.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Actually, I think I\u2019ve made up my mind; I prefer to stay in Heaven&#8221;, said the woman.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Sorry, we have rules&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>And with that, St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.<\/p>\n<p>The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends &#8211; fellow executives whom she had worked with, and they were all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her.<\/p>\n<p>They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.<\/p>\n<p>She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kinda cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good bye as she got on the elevator. The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and she found St. Peter waiting for her.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Now it\u2019s time to spend a day in Heaven,&#8221; he said. So she spent the<\/p>\n<p>next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;So, you\u2019ve spent a day in Hell and you\u2019ve spent a day in Heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,&#8221; he said.<\/p>\n<p>The woman paused for a second and then replied, &#8220;Well, I never thought I\u2019d say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down, back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth.<\/p>\n<p>She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I don\u2019t understand,&#8221; stammered the woman, &#8220;yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is, is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The Devil looked at her and smiled. &#8220;<strong>Yesterday we were recruiting you. Today, you\u2019re STAFF.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1748\/people-jokes\/recruiting\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" src=\"\" class=\"alignleft wp-post-image tfe\" alt=\"\" title=\"\" \/><\/a><p>A highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the pearly gates by St. Peter himself. &#8220;Welcome to Heaven,&#8221; said St. Peter. &#8220;Before you get &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1748\/people-jokes\/recruiting\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[201,18,3],"tags":[265,553,282,605,1301,207,33],"class_list":["post-1748","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-church-jokes","category-office-jokes","category-people-jokes","tag-accident","tag-employment","tag-heaven","tag-hell","tag-recruiter","tag-st-peter","tag-woman"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Recruiting -Church and God Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1748\/people-jokes\/recruiting\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Recruiting -Church and God Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and died. 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